Years ago I liked to watch the show What Not to Wear. You know the one, where style pros Clinton Kelly and Stacy London would surprise an unsuspecting person and expose their style woes to the entire world.
The episodes that always intrigued me the most were the ones with the young mamas. The ones who said they used to dress cute, they used to care, but somewhere along the line they just stopped. Not having kids yet myself I wondered in awe. How does that happen anyway?
I think I’m starting to get it. With time and children, long nights and monotonous days, not to mention a changing body and gravity at work, I finally understand how women get there. No one makes the conscious decision to move to the world of bedhead and pajama pants, it’s a slow fade of sorts.
Anyhow a few weeks ago on our annual halloween visits, my family made the compulsory stop by Dottie’s house, a longtime neighbor from a nearby community we moved from a few years ago. Our visits there are always the come-in-and-stay-awhile sort as she spoils our children and we enjoy catching up.
Upon leaving this year my husband and I both commented on how sweet it is that Dottie chooses to keep herself up. I believe she is approaching 90 years old now and she always radiates a simple beauty – a generous smile, tidy hair and she is aptly dressed.
I mentally committed to being Dottie. When I’m 90, I want to still care. Which made me think I could probably stand to care a bit more now. Sure I enjoy getting dressed up on occasion, but most days you’ll find me home, wearing jeans with holes in them, a sweatshirt, messy bun and no makeup. Of course there is nothing wrong with this, per se. But if I want to care when I’m 90, it probably means I should care a bit more now. Fighting the slow fade, right?
So I decided a few more days of make up and a half way put together outfit would probably be a good thing for me. I like the idea of my kids seeing that their mom cares and if I get any unexpected visitors, I’ll look more presentable as well, right? I will be Dottie.
Monday morning at 7:30 I was already running behind. The kids were up and I hadn’t made it to the shower yet. Remember, Katie, you want to be Dottie. I decided to hop in the shower just as my 3 year old told me he wet his Pull-up overnight. I gave him instructions to go get dressed, fully knowing this doesn’t go well much of the time. (I simply don’t understand how a kid can get his clothes on backwards or inside out 95% of the time. It should at least be 50/50, right? ) And I quickly hopped in the shower.
Of course, as soon as I am in the shower my little boy started yelling for help getting dressed, from the other side of the door. I assured him that mommy would only be a minute. And he proceeded to yell about daddy trying to call me on the phone.
I knew this wasn’t anything to be concerned about as just before getting in the shower I had noticed my husband had left his cell phone behind when he went to work that morning. I set it on the kitchen counter, assuming he would return shortly to get it. Regardless of what the 3 year old was shouting about I knew my husband wasn’t calling me right then.
“Okay buddy, mommy will be out in just a minute”, I yell.
So I hurriedly finish my shower, throw some clothes on, and find my little boy parked outside my bathroom door, stark naked holding his daddy’s phone. He knows phones are mostly off-limits in our home so he quickly says “he’s calling you!”, hands me the phone and runs for his life.
Not fully understanding the situation I grab the phone. And there is a man looking at me. I can’t figure out why there is a man looking at me, but he’s wearing the same work shirt my husband often wears so I stare a bit longer. Wait, is that my husband? No, no, that is not my husband. Who is this guy and why is he looking at me?
Your brain may work faster than mine does fresh out of the shower, but after a few seconds I realize what is going on here. My naked 3 year old had Facetimed one of my husband’s co-workers. And slowly I realize that if I can see him…yeah…he was staring right back at me. Straight out of the shower, dangling wet hair, no make up and making a variety of not-so-photogenic faces as I am trying to understand why there is a MAN STARING AT ME from my husband’s phone.
I froze for a moment and then did the first thing I could think of – hit END CALL precisely 29 times as quickly as I could. Ugh! Major fail in my attempt to be put together like Dottie.
All morning long I found myself giggling at the thought of what the poor guy on the other end must have seen. A guy, who I might add, I have never met before. Naked 3 year old, soppy-headed confused woman, suddenly panicked and hanging up on him. I had NO BRAVE to call him back and apologize for the situation, no brave.
A few hours later, when my husband came by to pick up his phone I had mostly forgotten about the incident. Until he asked me, with a slightly confused look on his face, “Uh, did you happen to call Jake today?” So apparently Jake never saw a naked 3 year old on the line. The naked 3 year old had dialed just in time to hand his mama the phone and Jake only caught sight of the dripping mess of his co-workers wife staring at him and then hanging up. Which led him to find my husband and tell him, “Uh…I think your wife just FaceTimed me.”
Awesome. One week I try to be Dottie and I pull it off like a desperate housewife who pranks her husband’s co-workers like a 6th grader. Just awesome.
I’m still bravely working on this “looking a little more put together” thing. But let me tell you, I’ve got a ways to go to pull it off like Dottie. 😉
This post is linked up at Grace & Truth.
Oh Katie this is a great story!! Thanks for the giggles!!!
This had nothing to do with trying to keep herself up. Pointless read.
This was an awesome & hilarious read. I laughed so hard my own little ones (3 & 2) were confused. It’s encouraging for fellow moms to hear the not-so-glamorous moments!
Thank you, Hanna. 🙂
A good ten minutes after reading this, I am STILL cracking up. This is the funniest thing I have read in such a long time. Mostly because I have a four year old and a 16 month old and I can TOTALLY see this happening in our own house. Thanks for sharing this.
This was a great read! lol Gotta love those insane mom moments that you couldn’t create if you tried!
Thanks, Jeana! Those are the moments that are much funnier after the fact. 😉
I could have written this myself I swear! Well minus the FaceTime… I don’t even know what I would have done, probably the same thing.. Pressing the end button as many times as I could, knowing my luck I’d accidentally call back too.. Lol but hey I guess it’s a good thing you were dressed at that point hah. I seriously was waiting to hear that FaceTime was on with your son.. Naked.. I mean can you imagine how hilarious that would be… But better it didn’t happen I suppose lol. Keep on trying to be dottie, and I’ll keep trying too. We will get it one day, probably not today.. As my 3 year old just ran out the back door naked… Smh… But one day 😉
At least you are still smiling while we’re doing our best to figure this out, April. 😉 I’m glad you stopped by!
I will get “dressed up” every so often, when I need to or it’s date night, but I look at it this way, right now life is crazy and my littles need mommy – prettied up or not (they’re not judging me, I mean, hey, they’re rockin’ the “cereal in my hair” look – so they’re into alternate fashion choices anyway 😉 ) Someday they will all be grown and gone with their own families and I’ll have time to take long hot showers and curl my hair (with a curling iron and everything!!) and put makeup on everyday if I want to. But right now, I’m just choosing to lay that stuff aside and I’m okay with that.
Ha, yes, they are definitely rocking’ cereal in their hair! I’m glad you have at least considered your options and made your decisions intentionally. Often we let things slide without even knowing. For you it is a choice you are making on purpose. I respect that. And these crazy days with little kids pass quicker than you can imagine. 😉
Oh my word. Found this on Pinterest and loving it 🙂 Thanks for sharing… I agree with your mom! Careful talking to men you don’t know! LOLZ
Charity
http://www.singofyourstrength.blogspot.com
I think I’m officially cured, Charity! 😉 So glad you stopped by!
Thank you for sharing this story. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction! I needed your tale – it warmed my heart and caused great laughter. I really needed the encouragement too as I’ve almost reached my highest weight ever, which does nothing for my attitude or my health. I’m going to try to remember your story when I needed to decide when and why to eat and/or exercise.
Thank you!
I’m so glad you stopped by, Candace, and that my embarrassing moment afforded you a little laughter. 🙂 Weight struggles are never easy and I wish you the very best as you fight to bravely steward your health.
Oh dear, snorting tea here. I hope you never have to go to a work function and actually MEET Jake face to face, hahahaha.
A friend’s father in law got dementia and had to come live with them to be looked after. It was hard on them because he would turn on the gas stove, oven, walk out the door etc. One thing he never forgot though was how to dress. My friend told me that he until the very end dressed himself every morning in shirt and tie and was always immaculately combed and looked like he was heading to the Gentlemens Club and their Cigar room. Fire starter or not, that man never forgot to keep himself up. I think about him sometimes when all I can muster is to pull on my track pants…
Sorry about the tea, Anna. 😉 What a classic example your friend’s father was!
Just found this on Pinterest and soooo needed the laugh. Thank you from one mama to another!
So glad we could share a laugh, Lauren. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Haha thank you for making me laugh out loud in my office at work! This story is hilarious. I want to vow to be like Dottie too! I think it does so much for us and our husbands when we actually try!
Exactly, Chelsea. No preset rules, but just try! Glad I could make you smile today. 😉
Hahahahahaaaa! Oh man this is so my life as well. Your mom took the thought right out of my head, @ least you were dressed! My son would have walked right in & handed me the phone & someone would have gotten a free peep show.
Have you had to meet this guy yet?
Ha, Tiff! No, I fully intend to never meet this co-worker. So brave. 😉
Do not ever doubt you are a writer Katie! This is first of HILARIOUS. Second it is such a great story and you tell it beautifully!
You are so a writer.
Own it! No more hiding. Promise?
–Stacey
You just so made me smile, Stacey. Thank you so much for this! <3
When I was growing up my mom might would go to the grocery store with curlers in her hair, (that was commonplace then) but I was always impressed that when it was time for Dad to get home from work she was dressed with makeup on looking beautiful for him. I was mortified at the store but the looking nice for your husband made a lasting impression!
A memory that stuck. I love that, Rhonda. Your mother, to this day, is a beautiful example of a woman aging well.
LOL has never been more realistic, relevent, appropriate, in the moment, it’s actually what the acronym was intended for. Oh my goodness, this post is absolutely priceless!! My side hurts from laughing! How I need this so…thank you my dear.
It probably helps that you know the cast of characters. 🙂
You had my attention through the whole story! So funny and very relatable 🙂 It’s nice to have someone as motivation to get us going for the day. I think it’s needed for us mommas when most of our dedication is for others, not usually ourselves 🙂
I agree. And, of course, “keeping ourselves up” has little to do with makeup and hair, it’s definitely deeper than that. But just the same, I’m thankful for lovely ladies who have gone before me and wear it well. Thanks so much for stopping by, Jeniece!
Haha, loved this! Your child’s photo is perfect.
If nothing else, his shenanigans give me decent blog photos! Thanks for reading, Aly.
Need to work on “calling men you don’t know”.
Apparently I need all the help I can get, Mom. 🙂
At least I taught you to get dressed before answering the phone.
Hi Katie – thanks for the great laugh today. I can’t help but think how good it was that you, at least, were dressed.
What I really want to tell you is how beautiful your graphic is at the bottom of your post. Gorgeous! The design, font, color all worked together perfectly. I’m inspired.
Exactly, Diane, so thankful I was dressed. Thank you so much for that sincere compliment! That means a lot coming from someone who knows just how tricky it can be to get those graphics right. I’m definitely still learning, but it’s a fun thing to learn.
very real….i know that for some on some mornings that it’s rough to get started…and i usually decide to put on a bright-colored top – and it helps! 😀
What a simple fix, Andi. Maybe I should have taken a tip from my 3 year old and wore a backward sweatshirt with the hood pulled over my face that morning 😉
This made me giggle! This is real life, naked 3 year old calling husbands coworkers haha! I want to look like Dottie too, put together, dressed, hair fixed. But most days i end up in workout pants and a hoodie. I think we all have a better day when we wake up, get a shower, and get dressed, it makes me feel so much more prepared for the day! Then the thought crosses my mind “If you stay in your jammies, thats less laundry!” HAHA!
God is GREAT!
-Heather
Don’t even tempt me with the less laundry idea, Heather! 😉
Ha! That is the funniest story! : ) We’ve all had our moments like that. I love it. I have a “Dottie” in my life, too, whom I aspire to be like when I’m older. It’s not always so easy though.
You know, Dawn, it probably isn’t always easy for Dottie either though. She just makes it look that way. So glad you have a Dottie in your life. It really is a Titus 2 gift. 🙂
This post made my day! So funny and so honest. It is hard to have it together and when I look at my grandmothers generation I’m baffled. How did they manage? I’m still figuring it out. Thanks for sharing this :)!
Figuring it out right along with you, Rhiannon! Glad I could share a smile!