I read books about how to write to you, how to practice, how to get better. I’m a learner at heart so whatever it is that I’m doing, I’m often reading about it as well.
And much of what I have read, in regards to writing, has a reoccurring theme – know your audience and write directly to them. Sit at that computer and see them. Envision the person you are writing to.
But I’ve never done that. Not once.
It’s probably sound advice, because people with all kinds of experience, people much smarter than I am, have proclaimed it. But honestly, I can’t bring myself to do that just yet.
Mostly, I write the things I see, the things I think about – the things I read and pray about, the things I struggle with, falter through and keep working at. And I just cross my fingers, hoping that maybe your falters and struggles look somewhat similar.
And you comment.
You send e-mails and you respond about how you totally get it, about how your mother recently passed away and those words so beautifully resonated with you. You tell me your husband is in Stage 3 and that was just what you needed to hear. You trust me with the still fresh ache that your young adult son walked away from the faith, that you have honestly never felt loved, that you are broken and healing on the other side of the United States, the other side of the world, and you know those words were meant just for you today.
Different readers, different times, different words, different stories, verses, quotes – meant just for you.
And I feel so small. The job feels too big. Think about the readers? How could I? Who the heck do I think I am, sitting here with my very alive mother, my husband in Stage 0, trying to speak truth when I barely know how it feels to be broken.
It feels weighty to see the need, see the hurt, see the real fighters, the real survivors, the real brave, to look that in the eye and know you haven’t a clue.
Could this have been what Moses was feeling?
Why me, Lord? (Exodus 3:11)
I can’t talk so good. (Exodus 4:10)
Please, God, pick someone else. (Exodus 4:13)
I always thought Moses was a bit of a wimp in those verses. But now, I think I get it. I finally get it, Moses.
Last year my husband was struggling with some pretty serious, yet unexplained, health challenges. It was a really tough season. In the middle of it, on one of his hardest days, a friend of mine was reading her Bible and came across some verses she felt were for him. But she didn’t want to text him, because that might be weird. And who was she to say. So she fought it.
Don’t be weird. Don’t send the text. Who do you think you are anyway?
As the day went on, the gnawing feeling didn’t go away. And finally she worked up the brave to just send the silly text.
I read this verse and thought it might be helpful.
Such a simple text; a seemingly simple brave. And they were the very words my husband needed to hear on that day. Words that have become his life verse. Words that we had painted onto a sign that hangs bold on our living room wall. Words that made my husband feel more loved, more seen, more known by a gracious God than ever before in his life.
Do we even realize that we have the ability to be that kind of conduit? To play a part in all of it? Do we realize that sometimes that is exactly what being the “hands and feet” looks like? Risking weird and following our hearts to speak up, to send the text, to the write the words?
Go on and underestimate yourself, friends. I get it. Because it’s logical. Who am I to say? I hear you.
But let’s not, even for a second, underestimate a big God.
A God who called Moses, who uses my humble words, a friend’s simple text, to show His mighty love to the people who need it most. Let’s not be guilty of robbing anyone of that.
Moses had a country to lead and right where we sit, wherever we sit, there is work to be done in and through us. May we follow hard after Him and when the time comes, may we pray for the unstoppable courage to step up, speak up, write it and live it. Always and only for His glory.
Katie, I love how you do sound like you and I are sitting together on the porch having a chat about all things life, bravery, fear, and brokenness and wanting to be used by God, however he sees fit. I pray that God would continue to guide you and especially to keep you close to his heart. You have wonderful words!
Thank you so much, Jessica! That’s just what I’d like to be doing – chatting about these big and hard things together, because I’m really just learning as I go. I so appreciate your kind words.
Katie, there are so many times I question, who am I that I have to say anything, but I’m the King’s daughter, so I guess that makes it okay…even if I am only talking to my guinea pig…if God wants me to say it, or sing it, or shout it, or write it….then it is obedience and that glorifies Him. You are a beautiful, fantastic writer, the King’s daughter, so don’t question just be obedient, for His glory! – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
I love that – it is obedience that glorifies Him. Thank you for your encouragement and support, Amy!
I stumbled upon your blog today through Pinterest. So much inspiration and encouragement. I love that our ministries can reach people all over the world, reach to places that are crowded, isolated, near, far. Reach people who are hurting, those who are living in a season of praise.
Blessings in Christ,
Shirley Ann – England
Exactly, Shirley Ann. And I love it when people stumble here! 🙂
Christ in you shines bravely (and boldly) through….through your love, your kindness and your words!!
So sweet of you, Shawna. Thank you!
Katie,
Thank you again. It’s amazing that we may never fully see the fruits of seeds we plant. Yet planting those seeds is so important. And living each moment and choosing careful words intentionally is also important. This time, this day and age we live in is a scary one for me as a white woman loving a God-given and blessed family that consists of a black husband and a mixed race beautiful little girl. Recent tragic events have heightened certain fears in my heart and have made me feel the need to be a voice in the midst of pain, tragedy, bias, misunderstanding, hate, and racism that many of our brothers and sisters in this country feel. But I was scared to put my words out there to be heard. Not until I read your blog post on having a small role did I find the courage to send an email to the administrative leaders at the University where i work as faculty imploring them to take action and show support to those affected by what is happening in our country. I sent it yesterday and wheels have already been put in motion to create action. I thank you and reiterate what you so keenly observe–you never know what seed you plant and what plants may grow from that seed. I never would have had the courage to act if I hadn’t stumbled across you’re blog. Thank you and keep writing however God calls you to.
Wow, April, that is wonderful! It is one thing to read and be stirred a bit, it is another thing to turn that stirring into action. But you are doing that! You have a unique perspective that I (and many others) will never have and God has specifically fitted you for such a time as this. Keep asking Him for wisdom and keep stepping brave. It’s contagious! 🙂
As always, beautifully said! I feel this way with my blog too. It’s about being brave and being obedient to one little thing at a time. When we have seen Him work in those little things, then it’s easier to be brave and obedient to the big things He asks of us.