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Katie Westenberg

I Choose Brave

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Overcoming Shame: Surrendering our Defenses

by Katie

How do we overcome nagging shame? When we surrender our defenses, rather than hide them, and invite God in, He is more than willing to cover it all.

Shame can be a vicious disease, atrophying our courage. Is overcoming shame even possible? A simple dose of Truth can go a long way in finding the Cure.

 

The Australian frilled-necked lizard is a sight to behold. As if a 3 foot lizard wasn’t unique enough, this guy is equipped with a built-in fan which encircles his head. At the first sign of danger he (or she) unfurls that wild frill in an attempt to show the world who’s boss.

If I ever met one of these guys in the wild, I think he would find his defensive behavior to be quite effective. I have no desire to cross paths with a 3 foot fan-wielding dragon.

Interestingly enough, this lizard is pretty much harmless. He is not venomous and at the first sign of push back he is known to tuck tail and run for cover.

What a unique creature, right? 

Or maybe not.

How do we overcome nagging shame? When we surrender our defenses, rather than hide them, and invite God in, He is more than willing to cover it all.

I think I have met a few frill-necked people in my life. The ones with crusty outer shells, who throw out a frilled fan at the first sign of insecurity or vulnerability. Any perceived threat has them firing off defensive behaviors that aren’t exactly welcoming.

Worse yet, I think I’ve been one of those people. Occasionally in front of others, I’m sure, but even more often, in front of God.

In makes no sense, but it’s true.

Me, the humble created, showing off. Putting on airs, before God. And yet I do.

I want to be good, do good, be better, do better and maybe somehow, just a little, impress him.

This morning I read Psalms 103 and was captivated by His heart for those who fear Him, but verse 14 made me stop short.

He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

Let that one settle for a moment. 

He hasn’t forgotten. He knows, he remembers my humility, even when I haven’t.

 

He knows our frame and He remembers how He made us. It is a gift to be fully known.

I’ve had these moments with my own children, moments when I wonder when, when will they ever learn to be less selfish, more gracious or generous or kind. Sometimes they act so childish.

My own thoughts confound me. Maybe they act this way…because they are children?

Oh yes, there’s that.

Far too often I am only half a step ahead of them in developing those character traits anyhow, but remembering where they are, who they are, their unique personality traits and giftings, their honest heart in the growing – it’s everything. My frustrations and posture melts as I recall what a gift it is to be apart of the process of growing character in them and with them.

And Christ is doing the very same with me.

He knows my frame, but he never has these memory-lapse moments of frustration. He remembers that I am dust.

Some days I let shame drive the car. I get what Paul was saying in Romans 7:24 – my frustrations with my own weakness, my own sin, abound.

But God didn’t create me (and you) with a frill around my neck. He knew I wouldn’t need one.

He knows my very frame and remembers how I was made. There is no defense mechanism that will deceive him. My weakness does not frustrate him; it is an invitation he is ready to accept.

If only I have the courage to offer it.

No hiding, covering up, pretending it isn’t there, or offering a showy distraction, but instead casting every weak and earnest care on Him.

It’s the most beautiful exchange. Why would we ever settle for cheap frills?

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:13

Fear God, Live Brave, friends. There is no better way to live.

 

 

 

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Katie Westenberg

Hey, friend, I’m glad you’re here! I’m Katie. One girl determined to do life bravely. One girl determined to Fear God and Live Brave, to parent well, live authentically and work hard for all the things that matter. I Choose Brave and I hope you will too!

Enter your e-mail address in the box below and join thousands of women in the brave community here. It’s the simplest way to keep in touch and stay encouraged!

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This is fun news! For a limited time, buy a copy o This is fun news! For a limited time, buy a copy of But Then She Remembered for MOM and we’ll send YOU a copy of the audiobook for free!

Distraction is a multi-generational struggle. Remembering is a multi-generational command. Let’s do this, together. Here are the details:

Purchase your copy of But Then She Remembered from any retailer and then head to my website (link in bio) to get your free copy of the audiobook. It’s that simple.
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Available while supplies last. (Note: the offer says buy a copy for mom, not necessarily YOUR mom. Buy a copy for a woman who is a mom, or a woman who has a mom. 😊 They all qualify. Just grab it before they’re gone!}
I scanned a post shared by a friend awhile back an I scanned a post shared by a friend awhile back and the words quickly wooed me. I’ve long been a sucker for words.
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The writer spun them expertly, thoughtfully, vividly, and I was glad to drink of her craft, greedy for story drawn artfully, delivered thoughtfully, from a deep well.

Until I realized, the words weren’t true. The author was believing a well woven lie and carefully threading mistruth into her own kind of gospel. Her mastery, a thin veil for mistruth.
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I was reminded, friend, perhaps the apple looks a bit different today. The shape and size, delivery method, have gone modern but the Truth is still the same - sin is crouching, desiring us and we are commanded to rule over it. Still, today.
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We must know Truth to spot lies. We must remember it, to recognize the difference. We must be aware of our weaknesses and the sticky compulsion of temptation. It’s our responsibility to rule here. May we do so, bravely..
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{Genesis 4:7 
And more like this in the newly released, But Then She Remembered.}
This morning, remember. This morning, remember.
Just a little PSA to remind you - it’s possible. Just a little PSA to remind you - it’s possible. 

It’s possible to be aware of the news and the world, of foreign relations and politics, and not be obsessed about it.

It’s possible to feel the real hurt of real trouble and not be possessed by it.

It’s possible to be in the world and not of it. To remember who God was, and is, and always will be, above it.

It’s possible to remember Him here.

May we learn to do so, bravely.
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{Beautifully modeled in Psalm 77. See for yourself, friend.❤️}
Slow processor over here. But this little book lau Slow processor over here. But this little book launched into the world on Tuesday and I’m still reeling from the beauty of celebrating side by side with so many sisters, the grace of what it looks like when so many women offer their gifts for His glory (fishes and loaves never looked so good!), and the incredible support of my local community. I’ll never forget it.
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If you want to join us as women determined to remember the goodness of God in this wildly distracting world, grab yourself a copy of the book and LET’S GO! We are ready for it.❤️
HOW SWEET IS THIS? My dear friend @jodie_berndt an HOW SWEET IS THIS? My dear friend @jodie_berndt and I get to release books on the very same day - tomorrow! To celebrate @growthrootsco (another dear friend and creator of the loveliest journals) is giving YOU a chance to win copies of them all!

Here’s the offering:

1. My book - But then she remembered (how to give God your full attention in a distracted world)
2. Jodie’s book - Praying the scriptures for your marriage (trusting God with your most important relationship)
3. A growth book! 
4. Jodie’s favorite pens!
5. An Amazon gift card!! 
6. Marriage conversation cards! 

Beautiful, right? I know these women, their love for Jesus, their work and their words. You will LOVE these books, friend (and the extra goodies too). 

Here’s how to enter:

1. Follow @jodie_berndt, @katie_westenberg and @growthrootsco

2. Tag 3 friends (or more 😉 each tag or share gives you another entry) 

3. Like this post.

That’s it! The giveaway will close Wednesday night and the winner will be announced Thursday! 

*Giveaway open to U.S residents only. As per Instagram’s rules, this promotion is not sponsored, administered, or associated with Instagram in any way.*
The humanity of Jesus Christ is an indispensable g The humanity of Jesus Christ is an indispensable gift to us as believers. Every challenge we face He met and mastered. The Bible doesn’t speak of endless notifications and group texts, but it does speak of people with real needs showing up in Christ’s path constantly. 
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Wherever He went crowds followed with needs and questions and frustrations and problems. He got in a boat to cross to the other side of the sea, and people would race to meet Him there. 

Can you even imagine?

And His most common response? He was moved with compassion. 
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Over and over again, He stopped what He was doing, paused from the task at hand, and tended to the needy hearts - the bleeding woman, the woman at the well - right in front of Him.
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Far too often I find I’m happy to entertain distractions - anything that prevents me from giving my full attention to something else - and yet annoyed by interruptions. Perhaps it is because one I choose, while the other I do not?
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Discerning the difference between a distraction and an interruption has been a helpful tool to me. I want to love like Christ. I want to be interruptible, but I want to give my full attention to what He places in my path.
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What about you? Are you more frustrated by distractions or interruptions?
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{excerpt from But Then She Remembered: How to Give God Your Full Attention in a Distracted World.}
UPDATE: You all scooped up dozens of copies in min UPDATE: You all scooped up dozens of copies in minutes! 🎉 Well done! You know how to love your leaders well. I wish we had another case of books to give away! We are closing this giveaway for now. If you sent us a message watch for a reply soon!
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I need your help with something fun! 
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This little book is making its way out into the world and instead of sending all of the marketing copies to all of the “influencer” people, we’ve held a supply back for the real people on the ground. 
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These copies are for the women’s ministry leaders and the Bible study leaders. The small group leaders and women out there mentoring and serving others in quiet and unseen places. The women without a platform or audience in the world’s currency, but willing to do good and important work for the women right in front of them.
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I’m convinced this work of leading and serving face to face is more important than ever and I want to say thank you! And keep going! Your work matters.
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So here is how it works: If you are a local leader or know of one who you would like me to send a copy of my hot-off-the-press book, But Then She Remembered: How to Give God Your Full Attention in a Distracted World, DM me with a name and mailing address. I’ll send them a copy of the book with a personal thank you note for the good work they are doing.
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Crash my inbox. We’ll send ‘em out while supplies last!

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