Our four walls can be a place of great joy but also hold our greatest moments of despair. Like tears on the bathroom floor or hiding out in our closet on the days that don’t measure up to what we thought we signed up for when we became a mom.
Within my four walls, sturdy enough to withstand Louisiana’s many hurricanes, it’s easy to forget that this world is actually temporary. I forget that this fact means the world’s definition of motherhood is temporary and paperthin, too.
What does temporary or paperthin motherhood look like? It looks like measuring it by the amount of dry shampoo in our hair, spit up on shirt, crumbs on our floor, sips of coffee actually enjoyed hot, and chocolate savored uninterrupted.
If this is the world’s definition of motherhood and this is the message we are surrounded by, should I really be surprised that grumpy mom can define me many times?
When I step back and see my most grumpy moments, I trace my thoughts back to the original seed of discontent and what I find are these seemingly innocent ways the world defines motherhood. I don’t even realize the destruction because like I mentioned, I’ve only ever lived on earth and have grown accustomed to the message around me.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I love how the Message version words it. It says, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.”
Reading this, though it can sound discouraging, should give us hope. Or at least an understanding of why we can feel discontent with something that God sees so differently.
This is where the breakdown happens, becoming so well-adjusted to our culture that we don’t even notice how far it is from God’s abundance awaiting us. But that also means that transformation may not be as far off as it feels when we’ve just had an epic blowup at our kids for something.
Romans 12, the Message paraphrase, goes on saying, “Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”
I’ve gotten to experience a radically different motherhood as God’s gone to work in my often melancholy heart. Grumpy moments still happen but they are shorter, less intense and fewer in general because I’m letting God’s truth wreck that temporary motherhood the world pretends is everything.
What does this look like really practically? Three simple steps:
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Live aware of the world’s intentions.
Simply know that it’s possible to view motherhood like the world instead of God. We have an enemy and all too often, I forget that and take my guard down. When we remember the reality, we give ourselves permission to analyze each thought that might derail us and not just assume it’s true or doesn’t have a negative impact on our thoughts.
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Recognize the lies.
The more Scripture we know, the greater our advantage will be to recognize lies. Is it really Biblical for me to demand perfect nap performances from my kids or am I believing the lie that my plan for this time is greater than God’s? I get annoyed when naptime goes bad only when I’m believing the lie.
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Replace them with God’s truth.
When I’m believing the truth, I quickly realize my faulty thinking. I can admit my mistakes and though my heart may still be bruised, at the very least, I know the kind of reaction I want to have. And that truth puts the wheels of transformation in motion.
Imagine the momma moments we could have when we start living out an abundant motherhood instead of a paperthin one? We spend less time fixated on the #hotmess message or survival mode approach. We know, with unwavering hope, that the God who saved us from a lifetime separated from Him didn’t stop short and say we can fumble through motherhood until we get to heaven.
God is generous, faithful, and loving. As we fix our eyes on Him and filter out the lies of the world, we’ll get to experience a motherhood we never dreamed possible.
Want help discovering 20 of the most common stereotypes or misconceptions about motherhood that can lead to our grumpy moments? Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday is for you. We’ll identify the lies, replace them with truth and have practical application to live it out. Find it here or any book seller near you.
Valerie Woerner is the owner of Val Marie Paper and author of Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday and Fresh Start for Moms. Her mission is to create practical tools, including her original 6-month prompted prayer journal, and content that equips women to cut through the noise of everyday life and find fullness in the presence of the Lord. She lives in South Louisiana with her husband Tyler and two girls, Vivi and Vana.
