For the Mom Overwhelmed by the Frenzy of Fall

I love fall.  I really do.  I’ve got a pumpkin candle burning right now and hot tea is re-surfacing as my drink of choice.  This weekend I cut cattails from the little creek behind my house and I’m seeing the first signs of the leaves on our maple trees turning their stunning shades of orange and red.

It’s a glorious season to behold.  Although I tend to say that about every season.  I love the change and the newness.  I am glad to put away toe nail polish and bring out the boots and just as glad when I get to bring it all back out again.

But in all of its glory, each and every year fall seems to bring with it a sort of crazy to my life.  We cruise through summer staying up late and waking up later, happy to disregard schedules and routine.  Then out of nowhere fall seems to smack us in the face and leave me feeling overwhelmed. every. single. year.

We were just hanging out by the pool, throwing caution to the wind and then. BAM! Seemingly overnight everything starts again.  Ready…set…start school and soccer and piano and ballet.  Start church programs and Bible quizzing and choir and co-op.  Start canning and preserving and don’t look now but the holidays are just around the corner.

You would think I’d get the hang of it by now, and I do in that I anticipate the arrival of crazy, but somehow that doesn’t make the diving in any simpler.

I hold on tight and try to survive.  I try to keep my head above water and the meals cooked.  I lower my expectations of housekeeping and simply keep this place livable amongst our comings and goings. But I don’t want to just survive this season of fall, this season of life, the season of change.  I want to thrive here.

So the past few weeks I’ve been re-assessing how we do things around here.  I’ve made a few small changes in my expectations, attitude and my routines, that are helping us all thrive in this fabulous fall season.  I ‘ll share them with you in case you are feeling the frenzy as well.

 

 

5 Tips to Overcoming the frenzy of fall:

 

1. Surrender

Seriously.  Just surrender.  You have set your priorities.  You have chosen the activities you and your family will participate in so rather than fighting them, complaining about them or begrudging them, surrender to seeing them through well.  Ugh, soccer practice again?  Our kids see that, they hear that and they pick up on our noncommittal attitudes.  Two weeks ago that was me.  I didn’t really want to quit what I was doing and run kids to town.  My youngest daughter, who loves playing soccer, decided she didn’t really want to quit playing with her Legos and run to town either.  How quickly she picked up on my vibe, on my complaint.  Our attitudes are contagious and they set the tone for our home.  Surrender to having a good attitude in doing what you have committed to.  Thankfully soccer season is fairly short and if it’s not working for your family you can always make changes next season.

 

2.  Be patient

Fall brings a new schedule, one in which everything seems to come at us at once.  It takes time to get used to this schedule, to work the kinks out.  But if we’re patient, it generally always gets easier.  We work out new dinner routines and schedules for schooling or homework.  We find pockets of time for housework and running errands.  It takes a few weeks to settle in, but a new rhythm to our days does come eventually. Be patient.

 

3.  Go for the small win

While I’m adjusting to our new fall schedule I’ve had to seriously adjust my priorities of what I’m able to get done.  I seem to think I’m every bit as capable of ordering our home as I was in the summer, but the calendar dictates otherwise.  For the time being I’ve started narrowing down my to-do list with only one or two “extras” I want to get done each day.  Laundry, dinner, and a shower are non-negotiable so each day I’m adding only one simple extra task to the list that I know I can complete.  Yesterday it was washing sheets, today it’s cleaning the fridge.  Having a shorter to do list keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and helps me know that I can accomplish my one simple task.  The fridge was cleaned after breakfast.  Success by way of a small win.  I might not get to all the house chores quite as frequently during this fall transition, but things are still getting done.  As we find our stride with the new schedule, I can add more chores to the list, but for now it’s all about the small win.

 

4. Own your calendar

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This has probably been my biggest lesson this fall, own the calendar before the calendar owns you.  I’m finding that as my kids get older and have friends and opportunities of their own our calendar can easily get out of control.  We have birthday parties and barbecues, we have church activities and dinners with friends, there is always a baby shower or bridal shower going on, there are family get-togethers and meetings for the various groups and committees my husband and I are involved in.  It’s literally non-stop, if we let it be.  When someone invites us to something I used to always look at the calendar and say yes if we were free, but I’m learning that doesn’t work as well anymore.  Before I know it I have doled out our time to everyone under the sun except us.  The weekends are spent before we even get there and there is no time for a spontaneous dinner with good friends or family movie night or simply to rest.  As the keeper of this home it’s my job to own the calendar for my family.  I need to schedule in margin and free time and sometimes that means saying no to good things.  Lisa TerKeurst’s book  The Best Yes was a huge help to me in this area.  I highly recommend it!

 

 

5. Give it to God

Being mama to this family, leading it well, is no easy chore.  Above all, I truly seek to honor Christ as I lead this family.  I want to do it all for His glory.  I want my attitudes and my actions to reflect Him and the very first step in doing that, each and every day, is by making time to talk to Him, to give my day to Him, to ask Him for help and wisdom to do this well.  I can’t on my own.  I have proven that time and again.  I get cranky and overwhelmed, short-tempered and frustrated.  that is not the mama I want to be.  Isaiah 26:3 says “you will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You.”  That is where I want to be, friends.  Above all else, the greatest advice I could ever give is as soon as your feet hit the floor, give your day to God.  Let’s trade in fall frenzy for some perfect peace.

 

So that is how I’m overcoming the overwhelm and truly enjoying this beautiful fall season.  Yes, it’s busy but we are thriving.  We are making memories and making time to enjoy each and every cold morning and cool night.  We are anxiously awaiting the first frost and getting ready to pick out pumpkins.  And we’re even doing a better job enjoying soccer practice.