About the time I started adding kids to my tribe, I started increasing my ability to multi-task as well. Change a diaper and talk on the phone. Check. Cook dinner while instructing bigger kids in art projects and rock the baby’s chair with my foot. No problem. Pay bills on the iPad at the same time. Why not?
A rhythm set in. Keep going, keep doing, get more done. And it’s true, it takes some serious effort to run a bustling household. So when all of my limbs were finally engaged in various tasks I figured out a new way to multi-task, with my mind. Sweet.
I can now cook a meal, teach some kids, rock a baby, apply a Band-aid and plan the next birthday party, all while listening to my son tell me of his newly created amphibious Lego creature. I give him a half-baked smile. I nod appropriately and give him a dull “mmm, hmm” on cue every 15 seconds and I throw in a shallow laugh occasionally, for good measure.
Watch me go. I am getting things done!
But am I really?
I’ve noticed the effects of massive multi-tasking catching up with me. My mind, always in about 5 places at once, is having a hard time keeping up with my demands.
As the kids charge outside while I’m making dinner, I distractedly holler after them, “don’t forget to put on your hamburger!”
Wait, what? I don’t even know where that came from. The kids give me a strange look and giggle as they run out the door.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this.
My brain misfires because I’m trying not to burn the hamburgers and trying to tidy the house before my husband gets home and trying to remember to schedule dentist appointments tomorrow and trying to hurry up so I can get everyone fed and out the door to a soccer game. My mind divided, my attention spread thin, the fissures begin to show.
But there is just so much to get done so I push harder, move faster. I am a task master. Give me a job and I get will get it done. But sometimes there is carnage in the process.
I never heard a word my kid said. I forgot to pay a bill. And the burgers are a little burnt.
Lately, I’ve been reading and learning a bit about schole, the Greek word from which we have derived the English word school. I love this definition from Mystie who writes at Simply Convivial:
“Scholé means seeking Truth, Goodness, and Beauty first and foremost, laying aside personal agendas, prideful goals, and desires to control so that we can be open and able to embrace Truth, Goodness, and Beauty when we see it.”
Not exactly the definition we apply to school today, huh? But I don’t really want to discuss education with you, I think this definition goes beyond that. I want the seeking of Truth, Goodness and Beauty to be part of the definition of my life.
The setting aside of personal agendas to serve and grow and learn. The laying down of prideful goals that reflect me more than my Creator. Forsaking the desire to control and multi-task to no end, this is what I want to define my life. Not juggling 20 things and faking it in front of my kids, while barely managing to not incinerate dinner.
Friends, I know we are all busy. We are trying to manage a million things at once and it mostly comes from a heart that truly wants to do our jobs well. We want to give our kids as many opportunities as possible and we want to serve our families a good meal and help with the PTA or Co-op and at church.
But may we never forget that there is a difference between doing it and doing it well.
We cheat our kids when we give them fragments of our attention. We cheat ourselves when we don’t fully lean in and absorb the little moments, and we cheat the world when we go about our lives half-heartedly, never really giving our full talent and devotion to what we commit to.
I don’t know about you, but I want to be all in. I want to listen with full attention. I want to live whole-heartedly and not miss the small moments. I want to sacrifice getting more done for the sake of being present right now. And I want to do it all for His glory, never my own.
Bravely working this one out right beside you, friends.
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If you want to read more about schole head over here and read/listen to what Dr. Christopher Perrin has to say. For further reading on this topic check out this book Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace
by Sarah Mackenzie. It does talk a great deal about homeschooling and I almost wish it didn’t because the rest of the book is fabulous truth for any mama. If you are a homeschooler, I’ll go as far as to say absolutely don’t miss this one, friends. I highly recommend it!
Have a wonderful weekend, friends!
This post has been linked at Grace & Truth. Follow the link for more great encouragement!
All too often I find myself doing good things while neglecting my BEST things/people. I’ve tried to adopt the “eyes and ears” mentality. When someone interrupts what I’m doing I stop my hands, look at them with my eyes, and it makes it easier to hear everything that is being said. I’m still a work in progress with this one. Hence, the term “multitasking.” What a beautiful reminder to check my priorities….yet again. Thank you!!
you are NOT the only one. I do this too, especially listening halfheartedly to my children, finding myself lost in thought about doing this or that and what can and does need to be done, and I have found myself answering (although not about putting on a hamburger while running outside) but answering incorrectly when asked a question.
I have seen and know this is something that I need to work on, so thank you for bringing this to the light and helping me see, I am also not the only one.
Glad to know that I’m not working on this along, Mim. Thanks for reading!
i think my pastor would be happy if i didn’t multitask so much 😀
I think my husband would, Andi. 😉
This so echoes my heart today. I’ve been learning the hard way the dangers that lay in multi-tasking, because a better name for it would be split-focusing. I need to be all in when talking to my husband or spending time with my kids.
Yes, Heather! And split-focus really defies the very definition of focus, doesn’t it? In Teaching From Rest, Mackenzie discusses how even Jesus Christ didn’t try to be all things to all people at all times. He was intentional and fully focused wherever he was at. That was a light bulb realization for me! 🙂