An Intentional Life: Small steps, big gains

When I was mauling over a title for this blog, I played around with several different phrases in relation to the word brave.  As you probably know by now, brave is the word that has knocked me over the head and changed my take on life in the last year.  I wasn’t looking for this, it just sort of happened.  More on that here.

 

But as I tossed around ideas for a “brave” title, the word “choose” became every bit as important to me as brave itself.  Because it’s the choose part that gets us there.

Brave seems to be gaining traction as a buzz word lately.  I’ve seen mugs and t-shirt, necklaces and word art all stating “be brave” or “live brave” or “brave mama”.  And I love it all.  I do.

But the “choose”?  It’s not a filler word.  It’s important.  Come to think of it, it may be just as important as the brave.

You see, you don’t get to just “be” brave, just as you don’t get to be healthy, or honest, hard-working or industrious, a person of character or intellect. Same as you don’t be a marathoner or a leader or a good parent. You simply get to choose to be-come these things. See the difference there?  It takes work and effort; you must be intentional and choose the process.  It is a series of small steps, that all add up to big gains.  But in order to get there you must be intentional, continually intentional, in the small things.

 

 

So how does one even get there?  Here is my personal plan of attack.

1.  Know where you want to go.  So many times we wander about aimlessly in life.  We let life happen to us, rather than us happening to it.  It’s a defense versus offense proposition.  No, we don’t always get to control the circumstances of this life, but we always get to control our response to them. Knowing where we what to go gives us the perspective that will determine our responses.

Recently, in a leadership class I’m taking, I was challenged to come up with a purpose statement for my life.  I’ll admit, I didn’t love the idea at first.  It sounded like a needless exercise.  But when I sat down to do it, it was pivotal.  It helped me honestly articulate what I believe my role is.  Which naturally led me to the next point.

 

2.  Determine your priorities.  This one is huge.  I occasionally get asked how I “do it all”.  The answer is, I don’t.  Ever.  Just ask my husband.  If you are wondering how your friend or that other mama or that girl at work “does it all” then you are falling prey to the simplest stunt by David Copperfield or David Blaine or whoever the latest, slightly creepy magician named David is.  You are focusing on what is happening right in front of you and missing the slight of hand, that is going on in the background.

When we work at it, there are plenty of things we can all do well.  But none of us do it all. Don’t believe that lie, friend.  It’s fruitless.

What we really need to focus on, what we need to “get done” is the stuff that really matters to us.  After I wrote my purpose statement the other day that was the first question I asked myself.  Am I spending my days to make this stuff happen?

If your purpose includes being a loving wife, are you choosing words that relay or betray that? If your purpose is to serve others well, are you choosing to make time and space in your day to do that?

Jon Acuff, refers to this concept as crashing your plane.  And it’s been in the back of my mind ever since I read his book, Start.  If you were on a plane and it crashed today, how satisfied would you be with your life?  What would you wish you would have gotten done?  Obviously, you’d be dead so your satisfaction would be of little significance, but taking a mental detour down that road while you are alive and kicking can give insight to what really matters to you, your priorities.

 

3. Get after it!  Realize, right now, that you are making a choice. With your time, with your money, with your energy, your talents, your generosity, your parenting, your friendships, your career, you are making a choice.  I’ll worry about it later.  That’s a choice.  I’ll let it slide this time.  A choice.  I’ll start working out next week. Choice.

By default, action or inaction, it’s all a choice.  It is either small, brave steps toward where you want to go or it’s not.

 

There is so much freedom in taking time to figure this out.  It helps us weed out the chaff, know when to say “no” and not be distracted by or envious of someone else’s game.  You got your own game going on. Figure that game out.  Go there.  And every step of the way, choose brave.