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Katie Westenberg

I Choose Brave

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When You Really Just Want to be Awesome

by Katie

I wanted to be awesome for one day. And by one day, I mean last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday, I was going to be awesome.

I planned out my awesomeness in advance even. When I saw that flyer from the movie theater listing the outdated shows they would be running at select times with ticket prices set at $1, I knew that would be awesome.

Shark Tales. My kids had never seen it. Over-run and years behind cool, this movie would be new to my crew. And awesome. I added the date to my calendar more than a month ago.

This day I was going to be an awesome mom.

For just one day I wanted to be an awesome mom. I planned it all out. And then, this. Why our process in motherhood is just as beautiful as our progress.

The timing could not have been more perfect for us. I have been out of town and away from home more than usual lately. A day spent making a memory, just my kids and me, was a perfect remedy.

I had the details planned out. I would trick my kids, tell them we needed to run to the thrift store and then – Surprise!

We are going to the movies! In the morning! On a Tuesday!

Your mom is awesome!

What a great plan, no?

I went by the bank a day in advance and cashed a small check, because even though the tickets were a dollar, snacks would not be. But I was prepared, this is the day I would say yes.

And so I got breakfast ready on time, gently prodded the kids along in their chores and kept the whole ship running on schedule so we could make the 10:00 am movie.

Just as we turned the corner toward the theater I made the announcement.

Guess what?! We’re not going to the thrift store, guys. We’re going to the movies!!

There were loud cheers and fanfare in the car. I take my kids to the movies maybe once a year, maybe. This was big stuff for us.

We pulled up to a mostly empty parking lot, which I knew was fantastic. We’ll have awesome seats on this awesome day of me being an awesome mom.

But then we noticed the open sign wasn’t lit. The theater was dark, empty. I rifled thru my purse for the flyer that declared the verdict.

The movie was not today. It was Thursday.

Adios, awesome.

What if we were brave enough to show the world our process as much as our progress?

A couple of weeks ago I attended a writing retreat with the ladies who make up Club 31 Women. We talked and shared, learned and grew, and I listened carefully as some beautiful women poured wisdom straight into my heart.

Susan Alexander Yates spoke about choosing Process over Progress and her words sank below the surface. How often do I prefer to show my progress?

I like to talk about things after I’ve got them all figured out, serving them up in nice tidy packages. See my progress, it’s beautiful!

Check your favorites Intsagram feeds, they are full of beautiful progress.

But it takes something different to offer up our process. What does it look live a life that says – this is me living it out messy, trying my best and not always nailing it, but trusting God bravely, that it is enough? Because He is enough.

What if our process reflects God more tangibly than our progress ever will?

What if process stretches our humility and more accurately points the world to him?

What if process connects us in our journey, in our messy wading through deep water, in our not so awesome moments and helps us link arms, hold hands as we keep stepping?

I’m over here moming hard, wifing hard, fighting hard and some days I just really want to be awesome at it. I try to be awesome at it. If I’m honest, there are parts of me that want to prove to the world, to my husband, to myself, gosh, even to God, that I can be awesome at it.

But who does my awesomeness benefit? What does my awesomeness preach to the world? To myself? To my kids?

When I sift that through my fingers I bit I realize, I want nothing to do with that.

God has never once called me to awesome.

…

There was no movie to watch on Tuesday. We drove to Wal-Mart and shopped for school supplies instead, which was not nearly as awesome.

But Thursday came and we went to the movies. No surprise. No fanfare. Not quite awesome, but a fun memory.

More process than perfection.

And in the end, that is the kind of motherhood I want my kids to see. This is the Katie the world needs to see. Not one that shouts of perfection, of awesome, but simply a mom trying her best, smiling wide and charging on bravely, though the process. Always trusting that He can and will use it all for his glory.

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Filed Under: Brave Mama, Living Brave

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Comments

  1. Chels Rief says

    August 23, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    I think YOU are awesome!! 😉

    • Katie says

      August 24, 2017 at 4:10 am

      Thank you, friend! <3

  2. Alison says

    August 18, 2017 at 5:30 am

    I love this perspective! Sometimes being awesome is showing our kids and others how to process through adversity and be content in (not with) what we have in front of us at the moment! Great life lessons! Perfection is boring!

    • Katie says

      August 18, 2017 at 7:40 am

      Perfection is boring – love that! It did occur to me that our movie experience is now far memorable than it would have been otherwise. 🙂

  3. Jennifer Tomasevic says

    August 17, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    I can soooo relate! I wanted to takw my kids to the $1 movies one day too…only to get there and the last tickets sold out to a group of 4 before us!!! Aghhhhh! We were all so bummed! But in the end we went to a nail salon bc I had been given a gift card to it! So we all got spa pedis!
    It’s hard to just enjoy daily life and show your kids how to enjoy and be thankful for the work and worship we do when we aren’t buying, watching, or feasting on things. I want to show my gratitude in more tangible ways. I so appreciate your honesty. Thank you for the refreshment…I had to laugh as I read parts of this to my husband too! We are all awesome moms!!!

    • Katie says

      August 18, 2017 at 7:44 am

      Oh Jennifer, you win! That’s terrible. My kids were sad enough, I can’t imagine ushering them out of the theater “empty-handed”. The nail salon is a pretty brilliant save though. At least these lessons we learn (while not always fun) make for pretty great family stories.

  4. Lynette says

    August 17, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    Beautiful story. You did your best, and created memories. This is important for bonding families. God bless you!

    • Katie says

      August 18, 2017 at 7:47 am

      That is so true, Lynette. I was pretty proud of my kids. They saw my honest excitement in telling them and my sincere disappointment in it not turning so well. There is a certain amount of bonding and camaraderie that occurs when you are processing those emotions and just trying to make the best of it together. Not the bonding I was hoping for, but probably just the bonding we needed. <3

  5. Amy Christensen says

    August 17, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    What a sweet story. We all want to be that person, at least once in a while, “nearly perfect in every way” as Mary Poppins said! But as you said, we mostly aren’t. Not even close! I really is about the journey and what He is making us into…which one day will be really, really awesome! – Amy
    http://stylingrannymama.com/

    • Katie says

      August 18, 2017 at 7:48 am

      Stretching forward, toward the prize. You are right, Amy; really, really awesome.

  6. Shawna says

    August 17, 2017 at 10:48 am

    So AWESOME!!! 🙂

    • Katie says

      August 17, 2017 at 11:34 am

      Ha! Well played Shawna. 😉

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Katie Westenberg

Hey, friend, I’m glad you’re here! I’m Katie. One girl determined to do life bravely. One girl determined to Fear God and Live Brave, to parent well, live authentically and work hard for all the things that matter. I Choose Brave and I hope you will too!

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I scanned a post shared by a friend awhile back an I scanned a post shared by a friend awhile back and the words quickly wooed me. I’ve long been a sucker for words.
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{Genesis 4:7 
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This morning, remember. This morning, remember.
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{Beautifully modeled in Psalm 77. See for yourself, friend.❤️}
Slow processor over here. But this little book lau Slow processor over here. But this little book launched into the world on Tuesday and I’m still reeling from the beauty of celebrating side by side with so many sisters, the grace of what it looks like when so many women offer their gifts for His glory (fishes and loaves never looked so good!), and the incredible support of my local community. I’ll never forget it.
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The humanity of Jesus Christ is an indispensable g The humanity of Jesus Christ is an indispensable gift to us as believers. Every challenge we face He met and mastered. The Bible doesn’t speak of endless notifications and group texts, but it does speak of people with real needs showing up in Christ’s path constantly. 
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{excerpt from But Then She Remembered: How to Give God Your Full Attention in a Distracted World.}
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