As much as I love the written word, I don’t read magazines much. I always prefer spending my reading minutes in a book. But once about every 10 weeks, I indulge those magazines, at the hair salon.
That bi-monthly appointment is a little escape from my mommy world. Two hours of no responsibility, of sitting still, of no expectations and magazines. I chat with my hairdresser and other friends in the salon (tip for easy friend time: book your hair appointments at the same time as your friends!), I pour over images of celebrities whose names I don’t even know and enjoy my mindless break.
Except I always leave the salon feeling like I need to lose 10 pounds.
I took marketing classes in college. I learned all about airbrushing and Photoshopping. I still remember seeing those magazine cover before and afters, showing how they make cover models look so fabulous. A little bit off the thighs, highlight the collarbones, take some “excess” off the arms, you get the point. Yet, years later, older and wiser, I would hope, I sub-consciously fall prey to it every single time.
Wherever I focus my attention, my heart seems to follow.
Sure I can put down the magazines and walk away, but the distraction lingers. If my heart is not resolved, if my mind is not fortified in truth I easily get weighed down. I am not enough.
I have friends who cook fantastic meals. Meals with adjectives. Like tri-color penne with fresh tomato marinara and roasted garlic baguettes. You know what I make? Spaghetti. With sauce from a jar. And toast. Sure, I can roll out an impressive dinner here and there, but most of the time, we eat simple.
I have another friend who decorates somewhere between Pottery Barn and those lovely boutique shops. Her house is unique, always warm and inviting, which is part decor and part her personality filling the space. I struggle to emulate that; it doesn’t come quite as naturally for me.
As we look around, at our friends or even at magazines, we always have two options: to appreciate beauty and unique giftings or to simply see everything we are not.
The sooner we realize we are all created with a different blend of talents and strengths to offer the world, the sooner we can intentionally own those gifting and choose not to be distracted by others.
I have a daughter who is small for her age, born in a smaller package than most. And as she has aged, not much has changed. She has grown, of course. But always on her own curve, at her own pace. While this mostly hasn’t been a big deal for her there have been periods of frustration and questioning. Why does my little sister wear the same size shoe as me, why is my younger friend giving me hand-me-downs, and when will I ever be BIG?
I don’t know all of the answers or pretend to, even. But I tell her what I do know. I know for a fact that when God created you, He knew this would be the perfect package for you. He knew this would be the perfect mix of strengths and weaknesses for you to change the world with, for you to know Him with, for you to live with and give with and serve and grow with. So we can be frustrated with it or we can choose to be thankful and own it, sweet girl. Be you, well.
It’s funny how those words preach when you are 7…or 37…or 57. Her own mama needs to hear them, at times.
Guard your heart against comparison, friends. It robs us of joy, taints our perspective and diminishes our strengths. Our measuring sticks are our kryptonite.
Gratitude is the simplest cure for comparison. A heart truly grateful has no room to compare, no room to focus on the measuring up.
Gratitude is appreciation for your gifts as well as that of others.
I’m thankful there are moms who bake fabulous dinners and moms who decorate charming homes. I’m thankful there are writers who pen words far better than I ever will and women who have mastered the scale.
I get to enjoyed the fruits of their labor. I get to be inspired by these people who are using their gifts well and I learn from them.
I’m done fretting about magazine models. I’m choosing to develop and hone the gifts God gave me, even if that doesn’t mean dinner with adjectives.
And I’m choosing to appreciate the gifts of those around me, those bravely owning it, growing what God has given them.
I’m choosing to be happy with spaghetti from a jar, because even that is enough to keep a family loved and well fed. It’s the begrudging and defeated mama heart that weakens a family, not the store bought spaghetti sauce.
Although we may temporarily convince ourselves otherwise, we are not defined by our gifts. We are not defined by our fabulous dinners, by a number on the scale, by our beautiful home or ability to craft words. We were bought with a price, regardless of any of that. May we never forget that and daily, bravely, choose a life of gratitude for that one truly perfect gift.
This post is linked at Grace & Truth. Follow the link for more thoughtful encouragement from some talented writers.
This! “Although we may temporarily convince ourselves otherwise, we are not defined by our gifts. We are not defined by our fabulous dinners, by a number on the scale, by our beautiful home or ability to craft words. We were bought with a price, regardless of any of that. May we never forget that and daily, bravely, choose a life of gratitude for that one truly perfect gift.” Excellent post, Katie, and I’m so excited that you share it with us at Grace & Truth! This is a fantastic post, I’m sharing it all over the place 😉
Thank you, Holly! I am blessed by your encouragement and generosity!
“It’s the begrudging and defeated mama heart that weakens a family, not the store bought spaghetti sauce.” I soo needed to read these words this morning! The comparison game is impossible to win, but it’s so easy to start playing. Thanks for the wonderful reminder that if we’re busy counting our blessings, our hearts won’t be worrying about someone else’s cleaner house, fancier meals or cuter clothes.
Exactly, Samantha! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!
So as I started reading this I highlighted a favorite part and was going to share with the post on my FB page and then the more I read the more I couldn’t pick a favorite part- I love it all! Seriously, so good and so many good points!! Will be pinning and sharing!
Thank you for your kind words, Paula! And I love that profile picture!
I make spaghetti with sauce from a jar too 😉 LOVE this post!! Pinning it!
Ha, spaghetti from the jar for the win! Thanks, Branson. 🙂
Very wise words. I need to read them periodically just to check in. Most of the time I really like myself…but self-doubt can be pretty persistent at times. It’ so important to remember that God doesn’t make any mistakes.
So very true! Just went I think I’ve tackled this one it show up when I’m least expecting it. 🙂
I LOVE your last paragraph. I feel like I need that reminder frequently. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Bonnie. Thank you for reading!
Beautiful, encouraging words, Katie! So true! Thank you for continuing to share!!
I so appreciate your continual encouragement, friend.
He always sees us. Even when we can’t see ourselves. Comparing to one another is hard, especially as writers. 🙂
http://unveiledandrevealed.wordpress.com
Truth! Put your gifts out there and get ready for the little comparison dragon to hit hard. Right there with ya!
It is so true that even when we think we know that we know, that we need a little loving from God to remind us. He gave us the Bible so we can have a reference at all times.
Those magazines hurt a lot of women but they keep on printing them. It is frusterating but God will take care of us <3
Yes, Jae Marie, always in need of that reminder. 🙂 And when our hearts and minds are properly aligned those magazines don’t have nearly the same ability to effect us.
I don’t think I’ve encountered your blog before, but I LOVE your emphasis. If I could focus on being the me that God created and do it well, I would be so much more effective in all areas of life.
Beautiful words!
Thank you, Michelle. I’m so glad you stopped by!
“….i gotta be me, i gotta be me” – love Psalm 139 😀
So much to love about Psalm 139!
This is a tough brave! I even struggle comparing to myself. I used to do this…. This used to be a priority….. Remember when that used to get done…. Remember when I could fit in that? This lesson of gratitide is always a good lesson. Thanks Katie.
Such a great point, Michelle. I know I do the same. Circumstances changes, for a variety of reasons, and that comparison still robs our joy for the present. So many misaligned areas of my heart come back to gratitude.