Calling out Courage: How to Speak Life to Bravery

As we learn to grow our brave what if we became masters of calling out courage in others? True en-couragers speaking life to bravery in those around us…

I think I was about 10 when my mom told me this story. Sometimes it’s the words of a story that grip us, sometimes it’s the timing. Either way, this one would linger in the back of my mind decades later.

She was at church and headed for the ladies room. As she made her way in, another woman was walking out. They exchanged mutual smiles, quick greetings, and went their separate ways.

Just before my mother entered the restroom, she turned a quick glance at the woman walking away from her only to see the entire backside of her skirt tucked into the waist of her pantyhose. She was part of the church worship team. She was headed on stage and my mom caught her just before she entered the sanctuary. Obviously she was showing the world much more than she intended. She was endlessly grateful my mom said something.

I have spent the past nine months working with a group of women from my church to plan our annual women’s retreat. After years of dormancy, we resurrected the retreat a few years ago. We planned details, prayed faithfully and watched God transform our humble offering into something beautiful.

The whole is so much greater than the sum of the parts in God’s economy.

Beyond speaking, my role in this retreat has been to draw in other leaders. Registration, prayer, crafts, scheduling, marketing – it takes a village to pull off a full weekend retreat. This year we sought to reach a little farther. Beyond primary leaders in each area we wanted to employ leaders for other tasks as well, spreading out the work while drawing other women in.

Our women served graciously. But I noticed something different this year.

You see, as I prepare to speak at any event, I get nervous. Really nervous. It typically doesn’t show to the untrained eye, but it’s definitely there. I’m nervous.

Doubts sometimes crowd my mind and growing in Him has helped me learn how to fight back against fear. “God, calm my heart. Re-align my thoughts. Help me care more about what You think than anyone else I will ever speak in front of.” This is a typical prayer for me whenever I prepare to speak. A quiet battle I enter into with greater faith and courage every time as He grows my confidence in Him. A quiet battle, from the outside, you may never know existed.

But this year, planning the retreat, I noticed something different.

Other women took the stage to give their testimonies. They were bravely sharing some of the hard they have lived and waving a flag of His goodness in all of it. And they were scared. Like not sleeping at night, what will other people think, I might be sick to my stomach, scared.

I asked a woman if she would be willing to lead a small group for our breakout sessions and she replied with a brave yes but added “I’m really scared. Will you pray for me?”

Before each meal as we gathered in the cafeteria I would walk up to an unsuspecting woman and quietly as her if she would mind praying out loud for our food. And one woman was visibly scared. She began to tremble a little. I told her she was free to tell me no, but she bravely said yes and led nearly 100 of us in prayer.

These women, these unseen and in between moments of the women’s retreat, may have ministered to me more anything else all weekend.

I was clearly reminded, so often we are all doing it scared.

Where we are standing right now doesn’t matter as much as the fact that we are stepping, one step braver, using whatever it is we have and growing our dependence on Him in the process. 

 

Do you see that?

The woman on stage speaking whose insides are rattling. The one who got up early to make coffee for 100 women and has no clue if it will be too strong or too weak and she wants so badly for it to be just right. The woman in the chair scared stiff to even attend a retreat but she felt God leading her here. The one trembling because it is so scary to pray out loud. Every single one of these women was stepping scared and growing their brave.

What we don’t see

I’ve been told that I never look nervous when I’m speaking and that only means what I’m feeling inside isn’t showing, but that doesn’t not change the fact it exists. My stomach turns, my legs get a little shaky, my heart beats faster, I feel sweaty.

Having a front row seat at the women’s retreat this weekend, seeing the beautiful combination of women stepping scared and choosing brave, reminded me how often we believe a lie. We believe it comes easier for everyone else. We believe they have more talent, less fear, more confidence. It’s a lie the enemy so easily uses to silence us.

They’re scared too, I promise. But they are working their faith muscle, they believe in a God that calls us out onto the water and they are willing to take the first small step, right where they are, and trust God to meet them there.

I also wonder how many time I haven’t even noticed it. Believing the lie, I assume it comes easy for her – standing on stage, praying out loud, using her small gifts in a big world.

What if we determined to be women who called out each other’s brave? Like my mom saving the life of that women with her skirt tucked tightly into her pantyhose – what if we kept our eyes peeled for scared women doing hard things and validated them? What if we encouraged and spoke life to them.

Hey girl, your brave is showing.

Our words can be a cool drink of water to a heart burning with fear. Like discovering a clever pun tucked in a sentence, we get to call it out. I see what you did there.

Simple words can become a surge of encouragement to a heart baring bravely.

Let’s offer them generously. Look for opportunities to bolster someone’s brave. Call it out to encourage their stepping. And let’s keep stepping right along with them.