Where do I turn when life doesn’t look like I think it should?
During a recent period of sickness, as in the — every family member takes a turn because we share everything — kind of sickness, my whole clan and I snuggled ourselves into the couches and searched Netflix for a respite from coughs and fevers. We came upon a new-to-us series called Brain Games and we were immediately intrigued.
Focusing on stunts of visual distortion, focus and distraction, shadows and light, we were tricked over and over again. We sat completely entertained by the palpable tension of what we knew to be true and what we were seeing with our very own eyes. The clash of those two truths felt irreconcilable; the very element of a trick well played.
And yet, it was all just for fun.
But what happens when it’s not?
What happens when the clash between what we see and what we know to be true isn’t just an entertaining show on television but rather our reality, our life?
Continue reading at (in)courage.
Friends, I’m thrilled to be writing for (in)courage today! Writing there was one of my brave goals for the year. I’m thankful they chose to share my words and I hope you’ll join me over there.
If you haven’t visited their site yet, you’re in for a treat. They continually pour out encouragement and hope to women just like us and have some very talented women writing for them. Sign up for their weekly e-mails for a daily dose of truth.
Wishing you a brave weekend,
Hi Katie! Excellent post! I followed your link to the other blog and read the article. I needed to hear it. I wouldn’t say I am caught in a battle like David was in fear for me life, but it’s a battle of the heart and mind. My mind wants to be angry with God, but my heart knows better. Writing my reply to you will help me deal with what I’m going through. I’m still struggling with pain and disappointment. May 31, I had a miscarriage. I was 16 weeks, but my baby was sized at 10 weeks. Something wasn’t right from the beginning, they said, like most miscarriages. It was one of the toughest things to go through. We had a plan. A plan, I believed, God had ordained. Maybe He still did, but for some reason, He had things go a different way. I want to be angry at Him for that. Currently…10 weeks later, tomorrow, my body is STILL healing from this on the physical level. My husband and I want to try again. Not give up. We have three lovely children already, so I know I am capable of having children…and I should just be thankful that I do and move forward, for some women are not capable of having any…but if my body is still recovering, how can I move forward?? I don’t have answers. I’m a planner, and I like to figure things out. I can’t figure out this one and I can’t plan. I met with an OB back on July 11 to see why my body was still trying to recover from this, and he said everything looked normal and to give it more time. Now 4 weeks from that appointment, not much has changed. I’m getting to the point where I am loosing hope…and this is where the “I can relate to this post” part comes in…I’m afraid. I feel like God has forgotten about me, or He’s trying to teach me something. I want to avoid Him to get back at Him. Miscarriage is a common thing, but it doesn’t feel that way when it happens to you. “What-if’s” are flooding in. Why is my body still recovering? Is something wrong? Will I ever be able to have kids? But I know these things are NOT true. God has not forgotten about me as much as I fall trap to that. I read the verses you listed. Psalm 57:1…be merciful to me God. But then I feel I need to speak out Psalm 57:5 and 7 and meditate on them, pray them out. Get my mind in sync with what my heart knows to be true. May God be exalted in this and may I sing His praises in spite of what I see. That shows my heart’s real love for my Father. The One who sent His Son to die for me so that I can have fellowship with Him. Oh, mind, please get it!!! I don’t want to be in the wrong place.
Oh Jamie, it was so brave of you to share all of this. I am so sorry for the battle you are fighting right now; I know much of it all too well. It takes time, friend. And there are so many questions and hurts, doubts and anger. You are fighting such a real battle. Don’t feel guilty for any of it. The brave part is that you are fighting! You will come out of this stronger, I promise. But it does take time. Keep committing the promises you know to be true and be patient with yourself. God understands all of it and He’s not afraid of our honest wrestling. I’m praying for you this morning, Jamie. <3
Thank you for the encouragement and thank you for praying. 🙂 I sure need it. Your blog is excellent and I love reading your posts. Keep up the good work! Thank you for heeding the call God has placed on your life. Writing out what He places on your heart, I’m sure, is helping women out there even if they haven’t spoken up. It’s helped me! God bless you and your family!