I met an author the other day. I mean a real life, has a book for sale on Amazon that people other than her mom have paid real money for, author. I think that may be the first author I’ve ever met.
Our meeting was completely happenstance – except that I believe nothing is completely happenstance – while our kids doused around the public pool. It was one of those meetings where you don’t even intentionally meet, you just stand around watching your kids and instead of talking to yourself you start chirping with the mama who happens to be standing next to you. You know those meetings?
Anyhow, when a mutual friend walked by and asked how my new aquaintance’s book was doing, my ears perked up. I didn’t know I was talking to someone awesome! I thought I was talking to someone normal, another pool mom.
So of course I asked her about her book, about writing, about getting published, all the while careful to not slip any clues that I write, kind of. I mean, it’s a blog, and it’s fairly new and I’m not polished, practiced, published or for sale on Amazon.
Anyone see a brave fail?
If so, you’re brighter than I was at that moment. I was mentally commending my ability to stash my secret while learning from this girl. Somehow mentioning that I write a bit felt akin to telling a concert pianist that I play the piano a little too (chopsticks is still playing right?).
Anyhow, here’s the thing I learned from this girl. Even with her book writing, published author awesomeness, she actually was still a pretty normal pool mom. As far as one can tell from a 10 or 15 minute conversation, anyway. But the thing that really made her awesome didn’t even occur to me until I replayed our conversation in my head hours later.
It was the manner in which she spoke of her gifts.
I loved how she answered my questions about her book and her writing and getting published. She was the perfect balance of humble yet owning it. She talked about what she did pragmatically. She didn’t seem prideful or start boasting about her awesome, yet she didn’t downplay or minimize it either. She never pulled out the “oh, it’s nothing.”
The truth is, it’s something. It’s something unique and cool, a God-given gift that she is bravely working out.
We all have that right? We are all working that out, right? I hope we can honestly answer yes to that question.
But are we owning it?
It’s easy to spot those who are over-owning it. We’ve all seen them. The people who you’d never have to guess what their gifts are because they’ll make sure you know all about them. All of them. They dominate conversations with their opinions, expertise and experiences and they are fairly easy to pick out in a crowd.
While I’m sure much of this pride stems from insecurity as well, I think there is a greater focus on self that also goes unnoticed, somehow seems more noble.
Self-deprecation – minimizing our tasks, our effort or abilities. belittling. undervaluing.
I heard Beth Moore say once that either way you tend to swing, pride or self-deprecation, they are both still a focus on self. See that? I had never thought about it that way before. I was always keeping an eye out for pride, tending toward becoming a down-player, and never realizing, that doesn’t serve anyone well either.
That author I met, she could have said, “that book? oh, it was nothing” but that would be a lie. A self-deprecating lie. It took her years and failed attempts to get where she is at. She worked hard and patiently to make that happen. In order to be honest with ourselves and the rest of the world we must own it, all of it. Not just the pretty outcome, but the pretty difficult process that got us there.
Pool mama author, she did just that, beautifully, seamlessly. I think that is where true awesome lies. Not in published books or Amazon sales, but in working out your gifts – in being brave enough to pursue your talents, to hone your craft. To talk about it for what it is, without need to overplay or downplay, but to simply own it.
It’s worth thinking about a bit. You are more unique than you think, more talented than you believe but overplaying and downplaying rob both the beauty and the Author of those gifts.
Bravely, own your gifts for what they are, friends. We all have them. Keep honing them. Keep using them. Keep owning them. I promise, I’m working this one out right beside you.
Hi Katie, I had this treasure pinned on my Christian Living board and I just pulled it up again to save to a new Goal Setting for Christians board. The thing I love about this is your honesty. I’m right there with you, sister. And this is such an important message as we seek to find and/or own our calling. I love it. And I’m glad that you’re walking brave.
You inspire me, friend.
Hugs and blessings!
Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Marva! Living this out right beside you, friend.
Great post. I am an author. But am quick to say I cheated by hiring a self publisher. But I need to stop saying that as I know God wanted me to write this book! And I believed in the story enough to take the risk and believe my gift of writing is enough to carry it to a real publisher. If not…no one can take away the fact that I wrote a book. So…thank you!
Emily
Author of “A Most Incredible Witness”.
Yes, Emily; you get it! And thank you for being a perfect example of that kind of brave.
Love this!! I tend to downplay way too much, and you are totally right, it’s probably rooted in pride. Had you asked me about my writing, I would have said it’s nothing. I was just talking to the youth pastor at our church about this yesterday, actually. There is the pride of saying, look at me. And the pride of being afraid to be in the spotlight for fear of what others will see. I tend to hide in the second base camp.
It happens so easily, Heather. It takes constant focus to humbly, yet bravely, step out for His Glory. Keep stepping, friend!
Humble, but own it! I love this! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for sharing and for your honesty in that you are still learning too!
Apologies if this has been answered: Where can I purchase “Own It: The Error in Minimizing Our Gifts”?
Thank you
Sandi
Hi Sandi! Own It: The Error in Minimizing Our Gifts is simply the title of this blog post, not a published book. Sorry if that was confusing. Although it might make a good book title as well, huh? 🙂 Thanks for reading!
My heart quickens a bit as I read this one. It is so easy for me to pass the baton to someone else, someone more qualified, better.
I completely doubt my gifts. I often wonder if God watches me thinking “ok here she’s goes, finally” then oh nope never mind!
One day I will own them…. I hope!
I used to downplay (and truth be told still do) my piano playing abilities. I remember years ago someone complimented my playing and one of my kids immediately replied “Oh she isn’t very good”. I realized that I was setting a poor example for my children by not being grateful for what talent the good Lord did give me. Yes, I don’t play as well as many others but what talent I do have is God given. By saying “I am not very good” I am not honoring God for what He gave me.
What? One of your kids said that?? Must have been your son. 😉
Of course it wasn’t you…..
it’s also about humility – cos everything we have is not ours – it all belongs to God anyway 😀
I absolutely love this post! I tend to down play my gifts as no big deal. I’m so afraid of being or seeming boastful yet the reality is we ALL have them! I celebrate gifts in others so why not my own? I’m inspired to now OWN them!! Thanks
Thank you, Tammy! Isn’t it funny how downplaying feels somehow more noble? More humble? I’m guilty of throwing out an “oh, it’s nothing” far too many times, but I’m starting to realize how misleading and unfair that can be. Working on honestly and humbly “owning it” right along with you. Always that He may be glorified. <3
Oh mylanta, Katie, do I struggle in this area! Two Christmases ago, I decided to paint my daughter’s room. By paint, I mean a mural across an entire wall. I was so afraid to try because it might not look good. But it turned out really well. I’m definitely a skilled amateur, not practiced enough to be a pro, but when people compliment my talents for art, baking, writing, etc. I have really struggled with how to accept it graciously without sounding arrogant or prideful, but giving the glory to God for His gifts in my life is a position that I hadn’t considered when I downplay who God made me. Thank you so much for this perspective.
Exactly, Jennifer! I keep thinking of the parable of the talents. If I bury or downplay my talents (even if I’m the servant who was just given one) than I am not honoring my Master. And isn’t that point of it all? Wishing you the best as you bravely own it! 🙂
Love this – it’s so encouraging. I think it’s important to give ourselves permission to enjoy and use our gifts – and share them with people!
You know, I’ve carefully considered using and sharing our gifts but I never really thought about enjoying them! What a beautiful example to give our children, each other and the world. I love seeing someone do what they love; it always shows. Thanks for your thoughts, Lindsey!