There is an odd thing about brave. It can take everything that is in you to summon it. It can rock your world for a few days, have you on your knees. It can cause you sleepless nights as you wrestle with options and details and courage to put your brave to action. And then you do. You choose. You act. And bravely move forward on the new path.
But here is the odd thing, in the moving forward you hardly notice the brave anymore.
It’s like you are going down the freeway near Snoqualmie Falls, a gorgeous waterfall in the PNW. And you know it’s coming because there are signs everywhere letting you know. For whatever reason you’re not stopping at the waterfall today, times doesn’t allow it.
But still, you want to catch a glimpse of the powerful water ripping over rocks, as you drive by. So you watch the signs. And you know it’s coming. 10 miles, 2 miles, 1. Another corner, a bend in the round and BOOM! There it is in all of its splendor.
And then it’s gone.
You anticipated it for miles, you saw it for two seconds and you blinked and it was gone. It was a big deal for a moment. But 5 miles, 20 miles, 50 miles down the road you hardly remember the anticipation, the waiting, the tension. You simply remember two seconds of seeing.
And that’s how it goes with brave. There are a million different circumstances in our lives that require us to be brave. Momentary decisions and some we roll around in for a while. But either way they are minimized in hindsight.
There is value in occasionally reflecting on and remembering those decisions. Here are three reasons remembering your brave in hindsight empowers your brave moments of today.
1. Remembering your brave gives you a sense of perspective.
We often make a mountain out of a molehill when the big decisions are in front of us, but in looking back we can see the molehill for what it really was. Acknowledging that helps us put the present decision in its place.
2. Remembering your brave bolsters your courage.
You can make brave decisions. You have walked this road before. You have been tested. You will survive tension and, in the long run, tough decisions will be honored by brave choices. I’m not just saying that because it looks good on paper. Reflect a bit on the previous tough choices you have made and it will bolster your confidence for the ones laying in front of you.
3. Remembering your brave allows you to help others.
The things you have conquered, the things that are molehills in your rearview, are someone else’s mountains right now. And no one can help them more than you, if you take time to remember what that moment really felt like.
The other day a friend of mine was telling me about her sister who would like to be a stay at home mom eventually. Like many young women toying with this idea, she was plagued with fear and worry. How would they survive on one income? What if she was not really the homemaker type? Would she get bored and lonely? Would she measure up? Feel fulfilled?
My first thought, 10 years into the very job she is considering, was to giggle at the idea of being bored. To minimize the skills needed to be a “homemaker type”. And to spout off dozens of ways to reduce expenses or increase income while staying at home. I was minimizing her fears because I had completely forgotten what it was like to be in her shoes.
But flagrance isn’t helpful. My molehill is her mountain. And it was my mountain once too.
So I thought for a minute about that decision to stay home with my kids. About how scary that really felt. About the planning and prayer that went into that decision. I thought about how I cried and was overwhelmed that first week home alone with my new baby. How I did feel a bit lonely, bored and ill equipped that first year or two.
I had no idea back then that I’d have another baby and another baby and another. That I would learn to garden and bake homemade bread and quilt. I didn’t even realize I was forming beautiful and life-long friendships. That I would homeschool those kids. That there would always be an extra opportunity to earn a small income and we would never really touch the savings account we carefully guarded for the lean times.
You see, in my rearview many of those decisions and choices blur together, but they were really individual choices. One brave decision leading to another. One step that led to the next. A pill I never could have swallowed whole, but a series of events that led me where I am today. And, most importantly for me, they evidence a faithful God, who knew the plans He had for me.
There is so much to still learn from those experiences if we only take the time to really remember them.
This isn’t a rant about becoming a stay at home mom; please don’t confuse it as such. It’s about remembering our brave of yesterday and realizing its potency for today. To help you, to help others.
If your mountain is in front of you right now, whether that is staying at home with your kids, starting your own business, or trying out a new hobby, see it for what it is. Climbing that mountain is simply a series of brave decisions, one foot in front of the other.
I had no idea where God was leading us when my husband and I decided it would be best for us to live on one income so I could be at home with our new baby. It wasn’t a plan I had in the works for years. I’m not one of those girls who dreamed of being a stay at home mom. But I am so glad I didn’t miss this ride. I’m so glad we leaned in, pressed on and made what was a brave decision for us, for our family, for our future.
As I read your blog I am encouraged for this generation of young mom’s. They are not the empty-headed, only care about what I look like on the outside women that many think they are. They are taking the steps to define what living “brave” looks like on the home front. In spite of what could be the humdrum of daily chores, and making sure kids get their teeth brushed and wash behind their ears before being sent off to school, they are forging on ahead as women have always done. Sometimes it is quietly, keeping the home fires burning, greeting their husbands with a smile and a “how was your day” as they rush to get dinner on he table. Never mind, if he asks, “how about your day” – it may be that he is just too tired and has to unwind, play with the kids, watch some sports, they often tell themselves. If he never asks that’s ok, “this too shall pass” – for most of them. They have the same concerns women have always had, am I doing it right? Did I speak too harshly to my child when he was slow getting dressed, did I drift off thinking of what I have to do tomorrow when my husband was telling me how the boss chewed him out. Oh, many of these women have their own on the job frustrations, either working a job, or being an at home Mom. When I was growing up, most mom’s were at home, very few worked out. I was glad my mom was there when I came home from school, and had a snack ready for me, sometimes I could smell hot cocoa as I came up the walk to our house and knew it would be with a piece of “sugar topped” toasted bread (a real treat). I grew up during the era of WW 11, and a lot of kids came home to a empty house, key under the door mat, note on the table telling them to be sure to do their homework. My dad appreciated my mom being home too, I heard him tell her so, he liked it that his clothes were washed, ironed and put away for him. He spent several years “batching” with his brother while they worked in he oil fields of Oklahoma, and he liked the fact he didn’t have to do the cooking anymore. Those were the days when everyone had the war on their minds, we had black out curtains on the windows, and my dad was a warden, so when sirens went off, he took to the street to make sure everyone had their windows darkened. We went into the closet in my parents bedroom, where we could have a light on that couldn’t be seen from outside. We did our schoolwork, or read or colored in our color books until the “all-clear” signal came. Living near the coast in California we got those a lot, so war was even on us kids minds. The adults had to deal with food stamps, and gas shortages, and long lines, but they took it in stride, it was the least they could do, because everyone had someone in the military. I had 5 uncles in various services, some saw some heavy fighting and came back jumpy and nervous but wouldn’t talk about it. Instead they got married, had families and bought a home if they could, putting the war far behind them. Some couldn’t, they were the ones that ended up drinking too much, and finding it hard to settle down. Politics were important, their was talk around the dinner table. My Dad had an exemption from the draft as he did vital work as a machinist, he made all the uncles hand made knifes to carry with them. At night I thought about what I would do if the enemy came into our house, I knew where Dad kept his knife on a top shelf in the kitchen and I imagined I could climb on a chair and get it to defend myself and my family. Kids learn early even if adults don’t think they do, about what is going on around them. I think now they learn way too early, as the talk is all around us, on tv, radio, and at patio parties, little ears still hear a lot they shouldn’t. But Mom’s are doing a good job, I watch them in my church, one has 4 and is expecting. She sings in the choir, and I see her look at her kids and they know to behalf just from the look she gives them even as she is singing! It’s awesome to see. All of this just to say, Congratulations Mom’s you are doing a great job! I know when you finally put your head on the pillow at night you think you haven’t done enough, but you never can do it all. And that’s ok, because if you did do it all, your kids wouldn’t need Jesus in their lives! Don’t forget the most important thing you can do is show your kids how much you love Christ, and teach them to turn to him, when you aren’t around, that’s the best and lasting gift you can ever give. When you get to where I am, you will probably think you didn’t do well (I sometimes think that) it keeps us humble to know we can’t do and be all. Say your prayers and let it go, it’s up to Him now, but then it always has been really.
Blessings,
Shirley
I appreciate your words, your stories and your perspective more than you know, Shirley. Thank you. <3
Just desire to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your submit is simply cool and i could suppose you’re a professional in this subject.
Well with your permission let me to grasp your RSS feed
to keep updated with drawing close post. Thank you 1,
000,000 and please carry on the gratifying work.
Katie,
Loved what you said “Climbing that mountain is simply a series of brave decisions, one foot in front of the other.” I need to put some of those “brave” shoes on and get going. Thanks!
Trying to lace up those shoes everyday right along with ya, Kristen! 🙂