I said a hesitant yes to swim team and with one word I lit a match to my quiet mornings, writing time. It felt scary. A different brave.
I’m not even the one getting in the pool each morning, swimming until long after dark. And yet somehow, I am; treading water, trying to find a rhythm, refine this awkward new stroke.
Discipline is both my strength and weakness. I can meter a routine like no body’s business, but am left with a clunky form of vertigo when the plan gets rattled. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s personality, maybe it’s the 4 kids (and 4 kids worth of housework) that fill the nooks and crannies of time and space, but I don’t pivot as quickly as I would like to.
I am an old dial up internet connection, complete with unfavorable stalls and funny noises, in a super speed wifi summer.
Maybe you are feeling this too?
My first response was to flex.
When life pushes, we push back harder, right? I quickly negotiated options in my brain.
I could stay up later. Although I don’t really like later. I make less and less sense, later and later.
I could write in the crack time, the fringe moments of my day. Although, that feels forced. I’m not casual and natural with crack time. I get all aggressive and focused and grab a sledge hammer and start creating my own cracks. (Not advisable).
I could form a new schedule, writing in the afternoons or evenings on slower days of the week. Except, this is summer. This is the season where we get to say yes to swimming more and yes to traveling more and when we do come across a slower day of the week it’s nice to keep it slow. Slow helps me catch up on laundry or a book. I don’t want to trade in my few slows.
My second response was to whine about it.
Yeah. I wish I had a more biblical and righteous and endearing step two for you here, but this is the real stuff. And my husband gets the brunt of this beauty. All of the “what was I thinking?” thoughts spill out behind closed doors and he remains mostly quiet. Because he is wise and knows my heart. He is keen to my method of processing and without pointing it out (again, wise), he understands that a quickly lit match to my quiet mornings, even for a short season, requires a bit of dying to self.
But a few weeks into our summer, I land here.
Embrace.
This is a short season. A sweet one, if I can see it for what it is rather than what it is not. So much sweetness depends on our seeing, doesn’t it?
I have a swimmer who is growing in and out of the pool. I have a front row seat for what God is doing in his life, how he is growing his own brave, and would I trade that for more quiet time in the mornings? More minutes in front of a computer? Not a chance.
The real fruit He is growing in this season shows up less frequently in a post or on a page, but more in my perspective.
It takes courage to cultivate what is in front of you rather than resist it, rather than wish it looked a little different.
It is brave to embrace a season, a story, a life, that is different than you hoped, planned, or expected, with a wild faith that it is still good.
Courage is choosing gratitude for what is different, having patience with your own slow learning and remembering that His grace is sufficient for our slow pivots.
It is wise to number our days, to invite Him to continually sift our perspective, shift our gaze, make us more like Him.
This is the formulation of faith, the building of brave, in the averageness of our daily lives.
It is messy. There is tension. But I was reminded today , that music is created in tension (heads up: great podcast linked there.) Ins’t that a beautiful reminder?
So I’m stacking up stories in bits and pieces over here, making scribbly notes in all my places and trusting that when this season slows, really truly slows, when long and quiet mornings return, there will be time to tap it out on the screen.
And in the meantime, I will choose to see the beauty of this wild and crazy season.
Waiting is brave, friend. It is cultivating hope in His timeline, not ours, trusting fruit is growing in unseen places, uncomfortable places, we barely recognize. It is believing and living out that belief.
This is summer here. And it is good.
I hope yours is as well.
Bravely,
Your “Hello” was so worth the wait Katie. Thank you!
Your writing is so perceptive and this transcends the summer season with encouragement for all the seasons of our lives: “It takes courage to cultivate what is in front of you… It is brave to embrace a season, a story, a life, that is different… Courage is choosing gratitude for what is different…”
This summer happens to be the season of stroke recovery for my (just turned) 32 year-old son. Through the grace of God he walked out of the hospital hand-in-hand with his wife 3 weeks later. To refresh his confidence and hope for his months-long journey of recovery I shared your brave words with him.
Peace,
Leane
Wow, Leane, what an incredible story you are living right now. I am pausing to pray over all that is ahead for your family. Thank you so much for taking a moment to encourage me along the way. <3
I dreamed of a summer at the beach, catching precious moments with the kids, naps, a good book, bible time and BAM – got a teen foster child and my summer has been carting people to cheer, counseling, tutoring, work and friends house – mean while trying to keep my sanity (I don’t run well on full blast) and I can so relate to this post. Probably what I needed today and God knew that. I need to brave and embrace these moments and love them for what they are. A chance to show a 14 year old how a loving family works…. I hope, I pray and I will try to carry on bravely and let go of what I had planned for myself!
Wow, Christy, that is a big brave! But it is good. Praying for eyes that see it in fresh ways in the coming days and weeks.<3
Bless you ❤️
Thank you!
I read your Instagram post about 2 weeks ago on embracing the yeses of this summer season – I needed to hear that, needed to embrace the challenges that yes can bring. It isn’t easy, I pivot at about the same pace as an oil tanker, but my kids are benefiting from your challenge! They are getting a bit more freedom and a lot more fun this summer!
I’m giggling a bit over here thinking about how freedom for them doesn’t exactly feel that way for us. 🙂 So much good learning here though. It’s just a season. And I love that you are doing it bravely, Katharine.
It is brave to embrace a season, a story, a life, that is different than you hoped, planned, or expected, with a wild faith that it is still good.
After a 5 year investigation and trial my husband was acquitted of all charges. Thank You Jesus. God has been faithful to keep us, provided for us and protect us through a very scary and stressful extended period of time. We’ve seen Him intervene and provide in ways that are miraculous. I feel like we are going to need to learn to breath again. We will need help with our anger as the threat subsides and direction for what comes next. Praying for peace and to focus on loving those we need to forgive.
I cannot imagine, Tammy, but the way you continue to lean in to Him is beautiful. Beauty from ashes is real and He uses it all. Now you get to patiently watch that part unfold. <3
Yes it is good, very very good.
You chose wisely.
Thank you for you encouragement, Sondra.
I can totally relate! This summer hasn’t gone quite like I would’ve chosen, but it has forced me to seize some moments and (intentionally) make some memories. And I have grown. Finding the good in a less than ideal situation can be tough, but it’s all going to be okay. Thank you for this post! It’s just what I needed!
We might be living the same summer, Nicole. 🙂 Thank you for your encouragement. Living this right along with you!