We decide to make cookies and in their excitement, four kids jockey for position. The littlest ones run for stools, all seeking prime real estate right beside mama, first in line. The Betty Crocker moment is tainted by their authentic desire to not get lost in the crowd, to have a real and meaningful chance to help, to be part of the action. And I don’t always handle their excitement with grace.
Sometimes all of their energy and excitement overwhelms me and translates into irritation. I snap, “That is enough! You guys must have some patience! This is ridiculous”.
The irony is apparent just seconds after the words leave my mouth. My irritated tone barking for them to be patient.
Earlier this week our morning was off to a rough start. I was running late on getting my morning chores done before the kids woke and I quickly rushed to the shower. One the other side of my bathroom door three kids planted themselves, waiting for me and bickering about who should get to sit beside mama at breakfast today. “Mooooom, she sat by you yesterday!” “Did not. You always get to sit by mom!” Their argument escalates and their selfishness exasperates me.
I holler through the door – “every one of you is being incredibly selfish and if you continue to argue, I will not be sitting by any of you!”
I mentally fume a bit. Seriously, can I not get 5 minutes of peace? 5 minutes! I work hard at this job and at the very least I deserve a 5 minute shower in peace. My husband had been working late nights; I never get a break and even in my shower I’m lulled by whiny kids all selfishly vying for a piece of me.
Again, the irony is not lost on me as I combat their actions with weaknesses of my own. We’re tangled up in a poker game – I’ll see your impatience, and raise you 20. Selfishness? I’m all in.
Years ago, a mom a few years ahead of me on this journey told me that God gives us kids to teach us, more than for us to teach them. I couldn’t agree more. The same character traits I’m trying to grow in my children, reveal the very same weaknesses in me.
And I wonder, who gave me this job anyhow? I am nearly as much a mess as these kids are. Sure I conform to societal standards of decent behavior. You won’t find me face down throwing a tantrum. But I’m pretty sure that inside, our hearts look nearly the same.
Somedays we are a selfish and impatient mess over here, but thankfully the same grace rains down over all of us. His grace is sufficient for me and for them as well. He said His power is made perfect in weakness and if that isn’t hope for a mama, I don’t know what is. So we’ll keep working on it. My hearts and theirs, growing and learning, together. And ever thankful for the grace that covers it all.
This post is linked up at Coffee for Your Heart and Women With Intention.
Katie, Katie, Katie, I hear so much of myself in your words here! 🙂 Just today as I scolded the kids for being impatient, I realized my own attitude wasn’t one of patience, either. It’s tough, this learning stuff. Thank the Lord for His power at work in us and through us, otherwise we’d be a sad bunch, wouldn’t we? I’m so thankful for the work-in-progress that He promises to complete!
Thanks for sharing this with us over at Grace and Truth last week! I would love to feature you, but we co-hosts agreed upon a rule that in order to be featured, there must be a linkback to Grace and Truth somewhere. If this is something you are willing to add, please let me know and I can feature this piece next week! Thanks so much,
Jen 🙂
You always, share the sweetest comments, Jen! And yes, the learning is always tough, but beautiful. I completely forgot to add the link back, I’ll take care of that. And thanks!
This post speaks volumes! I never thought to compare myself and my child in the way that you described, and you’re so RIGHT! I have pinned this post, and I’m incredibly happy to have found you via #busydoinglife. 🙂
I so glad you landed here as well. 🙂 I’m learning and growing right along with you!
Hi Katie! This is my 1st time here.. popping over from Grace & Truth. 🙂 I just loved this post! Your shower story had me cracking up… can totally relate! And, definitely a thought provoker. 😉 I’ll be back for sure! Ttys!
I’m so glad you stopped by, Ciara…and it’s good to know I’m not the only one with frazzled shower moments! 😉
I have to say this is my biggest sin. This is my thorn that I struggle with every day. When people struggle with alcohol and some “major” troubles and tell me “you have this and that all together” and are embarrassed for me to see their shame, I think to myself “you don’t even know.” I hate that I can be so selfish. I hate that there are days when my most precious treasures make my skin crawl. To say I appreciate this post is like saying, yeah, Disneyland? Been there, done that. Thank you Katie. Btw…..Love the new profile pic.
I love your honesty, friend…that you are brave enough to admit the hard. Thankfully there is no need to compare our ugly. We certainly all have it, but His grace is always sufficient. <3
Such beautiful truths! We really can learn so much from our kids. It’s crazy true! Visiting from Holley’s today 🙂 Thanks for writing!
Thanks for stopping by, Rachel!
I love this post. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Jen. 🙂
So funny, Katie- I just linked up on coffee for your heart, and your post title was nearly identical to the message in the post that I was linking up so I wanted to see what you shared. It seems that God must really be wanting to drive a point home to me right now- this lesson is repeating time and time again for me, the latest being in your words. 😉 Motherhood has certainly taught me that I DO NOT have it all together and drives me to my knees seeking grace! xoxoxo~
Isn’t that the truth, Sarah? My understanding of my need for His guidance has never been greater. Such beautifully messy job we have. I am working this motherhood gig out right beside you!
Katie – I absolutely love your authenticity and transparency – way to go. You are so right about how kids teach us sometimes more than we teach them and also that it brings out the weaknesses in us. 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind 🙂 Thank you for sharing with us today at #WomenWithIntention where we are neighbors.
Thank you for your kind remarks, Debbie. I’m delighted you stopped by. 🙂
Phil. 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
Yes, Andi. All things!
Love this post! I can hear myself in your words! Thank God for grace and for beautiful kids to help mold us into the woman He has made us to be!
God is GREAT!
-Heather
Exactly, Heather! Motherhood certainly does mold and refine us.
Goodness, yes! Motherhood is trying and we really can only do it through His power!
Fabulous, and yet trying. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Susannah.