Yesterday was my anniversary. For fourteen years now I’ve been married to the boy I fell in love with in high school. Add to that 5 years of dating and we’ve been a team for than half of our lives now. Crazy, huh? Be careful who your daughter dates in high school, mama, sometimes things get real.
But I’m crazy thankful for that real. We’ve put in years of real now. Years with hard stuff and years with lots of fun. The memories, they are stacking up now. And I would pick the same guy again, in a heartbeat.
But enough of the sappy stuff. That’s not what I really want to tell you about.
I posted this photo on Instagram yesterday. A sweet little snapshot to simply commemorate our day.
That’s how these social media sights work. You get to share slices of your life with others. Granted some of us share bigger slices that others, but for the most part it’s a nice concept. It’s nice to catch up with old friends and keep in touch with family thousands of miles away. It’s nice to reconnect with old classmates and see glimpses of their lives or be inspired by new friends, by fabulous photography or artfully styled homes.
It’s all nice, when we keep it in perspective. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what if the words we are seeing, the words we are perceiving, aren’t really…the truth?
Last night, before going to bed I checked my Instagram, appreciating the thoughtful comments from friends wishing my husband and I a happy day. I glanced at that photo for a minute and thought about what it might look like. We may look like the couple that is madly in love, holding hands every chance we get. Or it may look like we drive a pretty nice car, with leather seats and that fancy wood trim. See that phone in the background, the one with map app open? It may look like we are celebrating 14 years together with a getaway to a fabulous restaurant to which we have never been before.
And here is where social media might be lying to you. Looks, my friend, are deceiving.
That photo I posted yesterday, it wasn’t from yesterday. It was a shot I snapped on our vacation that was’t exactly awesome. Remember that one? Yeah, I haven’t quite forgotten it yet.
I grabbed that picture off the stored photos on my phone, because I didn’t actually have time to snap a shot with my husband yesterday. Because I barely even saw my husband yesterday. I’m not complaining, friends. We have plans to celebrate those 14 years, but it didn’t happen yesterday.
Yesterday my husband worked a pretty stressful 14 hour day. I cared for kids, the home, ran errands and hauled kids to soccer practice in the evening. Dinner plans failed due to interruptions and we all landed home just after 7:00pm. Where we ate Taco Bell on the back patio. Fourteen years and Taco Bell.
This is what 14 years and four kids looks like, in reality. Yes, sometimes there are moments of holding hands in the car. There are those Instagram moments. But more often than not, we’re piecing it together here. We’re shifting and sacrificing and prioritizing and juggling. We’re managing work schedules and kids activities and family time and friends.
I’m not hating on social media. For the most part, I enjoy it. But social media might be lying to you. See it for what it is, friends. A snapshot of one moment, not the whole story. Don’t become discontent, deceived, disillusioned by someone’s snapshot. Someone’s one good moment.
In the same way that we dress up for a night out, we dress up on social media. We post the good shots, often edited ones. With a filter.
When you are viewing your Instagram feed, remember that please.
That photo I posted yesterday? I told you it was taken on the vacation that wasn’t. There is more I haven’t told you about that vacation. Like when there was a miscommunication about the RV we were supposed to be staying in. And we didn’t realize it until it was about 10:00 pm and we were miles from the nearest hotel. I didn’t mention that we slept jigsawed on the floor of my in-laws RV that night, using towels for blankets, because who really plans to have a circus of extra people sleeping on their floor? I didn’t mention that my youngest son caught the flu bug that traveled with us and he got sick in that shiny new rental car the day after the girls did. I didn’t mention that I missed the wedding ceremony that we flew there for because I was in the car with the fourth and final kid to get sick.
That picture you saw? That was taken in the rental car on the trip. We were holding hands, holding on for dear life, really, and I snapped a photo because I wanted to remember that about this trip.
So that is the reality of fourteen years, friends. The reality behind one Instagram photo. There is no need to shun social media, but I think it’s imperative to understand it for what it is. Nothing good can come out of comparing our lives to someone else’s snapshots, comparing our everyday to a glimpse of someone else’s moment of awesome. The edited awesome they choose to post. Social media is a carefully crafted glimpse of someone else’s life. Only, the glimpse they want you to see. Keep that in mind.
I promise, we all have our real. And most of the time, there is more to those photos than we will ever know.
For more encouraging words from some wonderful bloggers, visit Grace and Truth.
Katie, this is so true and you kept me chuckling while making some great points! It’s not just on social media where we look around at others and think everyone has it together but us. I think it happens all the time at church. Too often we think we’re the only ones with our own reality show going on and we’re living in fear of being found out! I always love it when I meet people who are open and honest, not letting everything hang out all the time, but not trying to hide behind some illusion. Thanks again for sharing. I saw your pin on Pinterest and the title drew me in. Blessings!
I’m so glad you stopped by, Donna! I totally agree; authenticity is such an endearing attribute and in a world of easy illusions it is appreciated more than ever.
Ok Katie.. I must admit, this is definitely my favorite blog. I just found you tonight and I have never spent this much time on someone’s blog! Your writing is so compelling.. and it makes me laugh! 14 years and Taco Bell.. Omgosh. Alright.. I gotta go! Ttys!
You comments make me smile, Ciara. I’m so glad you stopped by! I look forward to looking at your blog as well.
I love how you put things in perspective here. Thanks for sharing transparently.
It is so good to be reminded of this!
This is all true! I can remember days I would post pictures of something fun, while I was really at work and can imagine what it looks like to others. We must always shift our perspective!
Yes, Adriana. Thanks for stopping by!
Oooooh this is so good. Such truth here. Thank you for opening your heart up and for reminding us all that messy life — REAL life — is worthy of showing off and being happy about, too. We should be grateful for every moment — not just the pretty ones.
Exactly! Although when my house is a disaster and my kids are driving me wild…I need that reminder just as much as anyone. 😉
Yup this is so true. We curate our online images, and yet we believe that others live as their online profiles indicate.
Isn’t that the truth, Daisy? We know we clear the messy floor in the background for a photo and yet assume that everyone else’s floors are perpetually clean! 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you more. Nothing is always as is seems. Btw, happy anniversary. Holding on tight to love is a challenge worth taking on.
Yes to that! Thank you, friend.
I LOVE THIS! It made me smile a huge smile and nod my head! When we can grab those slices and re-position them into another area of our lives helps with perspective also! It makes us (me) examine what I want most and the experiences that goes along with that.
I’m glad that when that picture was ACTUALLY taken, that you took the time to find and cling to the good!
Thank you, Kela! I can almost see your huge smile and head nod. 😉