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If I am honest I have spent more time avoiding Proverbs 31 than I have actually reading it. I am more likely to take in a few verses at a time than consume the whole chapter at once. It’s easier to take in small doses.
When I do take on the whole chapter I can’t help from somehow trying to tally my position in it all. I subconsciously act like a figure skating judge assessing my technical performance and presentation with each verse.
Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. (v.11)
Not a bad score here. I think I’m fairly trustworthy. I’m sure I enrich my husband’s life to some extent, right? The adverb “greatly” causes me a little concern; it’s a bit subjective. I would be more comfortable with mostly or maybe occasionally here, but we can’t mince words. This is the Bible, right? Moving along…
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (v. 12)
Good, a simpler one. I have quite a few days yet to be accounted for here (hopefully!) but seeing as though my husband has pretty much survived this marriage without any major damage so far, I can check this one off and keep reading.
She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. (v.13)
So this is where things get a little tricky. King Lemuel’s mom turns on the fire hose and doesn’t quit.
She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. (v. 14-17 NLT)
And now you see why I often refrain from reading Proverbs 31 as whole. Who can keep up? We’re barely half way through the chapter here.
But if we keep reading, just keep reading, we find that this list gets richer. It’s a sauce on the stove that needs time to simmer. It thickens as we read until we understand the source of all this output.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, (v. 25)
This is the covering in which she engages her world. Strength and honor become the garb she dons in order to prepare herself for the task. Up early and late, planning, preparing, producing.
Do you see it? We are drilling down to the roots here.
When we keep going we come to verse 30 and we find the very foundation on which this infamous woman is planted.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
I love the word charm. At first glance it makes me a little sad to see it here, because it’s such a sweet and feminine descriptor. We have all been captivated by a charming home before, a charming friend who just has an extra sparkle about her. Maybe we have received a gift that was so thoughtful and fitting and charming. How can you not love charming?
A few translations of the Bible actually use the word grace or gracefulness here. Her grace is deceiving and beauty passing. Wow. These things we see and love instantly, these attributes we prize in the world at large, but particularly in women, while pure in intention, are actually distracting and fleeting here.
This woman who does all the things, who works hard and honors others, who gives and serves and is diligent and perseveres, she isn’t built solely of charm and beauty. There is something more to her. The verse continues:
but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
This is the final resolution. After a laundry list, which I unwisely think of as a to do list, verse after verse singing the praise of a woman who buys and sells, makes and manages, the dust settles here. This is the how and why in the conclusion of it all.
This is both the conclusion and the recipe. This honorable and virtuous wife, she didn’t do it all in one day and she didn’t do it on her own. She feared the Lord, clothed herself with strength and dignity from her foundation in him, and set her feet, her heart, her mind, deep into faithfulness, trusting Him with the tasks in front of her day and night.
This is it. This is the woman I want to be. I may bring food in from afar or have it delivered curbside at a nearby grocery store. (side note: I actually did that for the first time yesterday, friends – so awesome! More info here.) I may plant a vineyard or toil to keep one single tomato plant alive. Maybe I have traded sewing and selling linen garments for piecing together words and sentences in the form of freelance writing assignments.
Times have changed, but the foundation of what makes a woman successful has not.
Don’t get hung up on the details of Proverbs 31. This was never intended to be our to do list. But a woman who fear the Lord? We can all start there. Clothing ourselves in strength and dignity comes directly from knowing and fearing God. That lifetime of output, of nobility and honor, of service and giving and loving, it starts right here.
Fear God. Live Brave. It always begins here.
